Dr. Wilson: Uh, I'm not going to the bachelor party. Every time I go to one of your parties, I end up embarrassing myself in some new and unexpected way.
House: That whole thing with the duck was hardly unexpected.

The main reason my third wife and I eloped was to avoid House's bachelor party. Have you seen Caligula?

Dr. Wilson

House: (trying a differential) Balance organs, nerves, lungs, bones, heart.
Dr. Wilson: Things you use to make bratwurst.

House: I lost my mojo.
Dr. Wilson: Have you retraced your steps? Does your cleaning lady check your pockets before...?

House: Stuff you haven't eaten just proves you haven't eaten it.
Dr. Wilson: You were hoping for evidence of stuff I have eaten? First door on the right.

This has never been about what you missed. This has been about why you missed it.

Dr. Wilson: For the record, I'm uncomfortable violating a dead colleague's dignity.
House: It's only violating it if you find something.

Dr. Wilson: You're spying on your team.
House: Prioritize, Wilson! Is that what you really want to torture me about right now?

Dr. Wilson: Your crash was ten miles from the Orange County Progressive Pain Clinic.
House: You live ten miles from Mary's Dress Shop. Yet that's not even on my list of reasons that I think you're secretly a transvestite.

House: The cat was not predicting deaths. It was just trying to keep warm.
Dr. Wilson: Yes, dead people are renowned for their warm glow.

Dr. Wilson: I'm not always nice. I'm not nice to you.
House: Because you know nice bores me. Hence, still nice.

Kutner: And no marriage either if our patient keeps saying everything that comes into his head without regard for the consequences.
Dr. Wilson: (to House) You always led me to believe you were one of a kind.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 127 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

You're an ass!

Dr. Adams
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