Wilson: You said it was keeping your mind off the pain.
House: That was before I discovered the Biggest Loser marathon on cable. I like to pretend they can see me eating.

Wilson: Is that my laundry?
House: You were running out of socks for me to borrow.

How hard are you trying not to make a ball joke right now?

Dr. Wilson: Why is it always reasonable in Houseland to take an emotional problem and sidestep it by turning it into a mechanical problem?
House: Because in Houseland - and the rest of the universe, by the way - when a question presents itself, it calls for an answer.

House: Admit it - you're curious why I want to make her angry.
Dr. Wilson: I'm sure it's convoluted, wrong, and stupid.

Dr. Wilson: The other wow. You were sober. She was sober.
House: Clean and sober and hot.
Dr. Wilson: Wow! This is fantastic. How are you gonna screw it up?

Dr. Wilson: How's the pain?
House: She's probably got some bruising.
Dr. Wilson: Yeah, I get it. You're a stud.

House: I slept with Cuddy. After she helped me detox from Vicodin. I've been clean for almost 24 hours now. (Wilson stares) Okay. Thought I'd mention it.
Dr. Wilson: Wow. Wow! One for each.
House: That's what she said. Ha.

Dr. Wilson: Cuddy is not a Vicodin substitute.
House: Quite the opposite.
Dr. Wilson: You have to wait for her to be ready.
House: Great advice. You pretend that I'm gonna do that.

Dr. Wilson: The door was closed for a reason.
House: Well, now it's opened for a reason. We need to talk.
Patient: He just told me I have kidney cancer.
House: Then you obviously need a moment to process.

(about House) You did it to make his life better. It was a caring act. Which you did in a way that was immoral and illegal, but... baby steps.

Dr. Wilson

House: Why aren't you in my office?
Dr. Wilson: Because I know what the word "my" means?

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 127 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

So, you're saying... you want a prenup. In liquid form.

Dr. Chase (to Cameron)
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