I'm dead. How do you want to spend your last five months?

House [to Wilson]

Is this hell? An eternity of people trying to convince me to live?

Don't be logical. Be desperate.

Stacy

House: He's happy.
Amber: He's dead.

I know you'll do the honest thing. You'll lie.

Foreman: You're stealing this guy's oxygen!
House: There's oxygen everywhere.

Death;s not interesting. You exist for what's interesting.

Kutner

I can't even get stoned without some annoying jerk thinking I need to be analyzed.

From what I hear, nothing black is tiny. Except your penis.

House [to Foreman]

I think it's time to accept you're smarter than me.

House (to Wilson)

Taub: You know he just doesn't want to live in pain.
House: Life is pain! I wake up every morning in pain! Work is pain! You know how many times I just wanted to give up? How many times I've thought about ending it?

Our entire relationship is about you. My dying is about me!

Wilson

House Quotes

Lucas: I'm dating Lisa Cuddy.
Chase: Seriously?
Lucas: Cool, huh?

Dr. Cuddy: It's not cancer.
Patient: It's not gonna kill me?
Dr. Cuddy: It's hemorrhoids.