I used to watch Jeopardy! everyday because I had a major lady rod for Alex Trebek. Till I found out he was Canadian. Gross.

Never judge a book by its front parts.

Wrong Balls is trending on Twitter. It's above Bieber.

The answer was Grandma Moses. You should have gotten that Ellie; weren't the two of you sorority sisters?

I heard she kicked your ass. Must sting to lose to Oldielocks.

Laurie: I went to a crap school in a crap neighborhood and reading really got me out.
Jules: It did?
Laurie: No, car modeling did. But it's really fun to say reading did.

Laurie: Jules I didn't know you sponsored an African child.
Jules: Oh yeah, little Omari. He's 10. I gotta say those letters are getting a little repetitive. It's hot; I'm hungry; there's snakes.

I am pissed that they just played a Miley Cyrus song and everyone knew the lyrics!

Ellie: It is a gorgeous night and I have no kid waiting at home. Shiraz me. Laurie, you are rockin' those jeans. Hi girlfriend!
Laurie: Why's it being nice?
Andy: Is this the golden seven minutes?

Andy: When you're dancing alone, I stand behind you and go "Damn!"
Laurie: Yes, because ass worship is contagious.

Tell her I'll get like, jury duty drunk.

Bobby: You need to go hit it and quit it.
Andy: Toot it and boot it.
Laurie: Whip it and skip it.
Bobby: Wax it and tax it.
Andy: Mother it and smother it.
Laurie: Bop it and drop it.
Grayson: Chuck it and ... re-chuck it.
Laurie: Yours don't make any sense.