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Cougar-town

I don't know exactly what your race is, but I am into it in a big way.

If someone was up on my man like that. I would lace up my ass kicking boots.

Ellie: If I get murdered I need you to tell the police something.
Laurie: Seriously, if I had a dime.

Ellie: You know if they just wanted to see some dumb, townie ho floppin' her ta-tas all they need to do is stay here and give ten dollars to-
Laurie: Yeah, yeah, yeah I know where you're goin' with this.
Ellie: Let me finish. You.

Ellie: Eat your chips, Jellybean.
Laurie: I don't wanna.
Ellie. Play with the bag.

When Smith dumped me. It literally took me months to get back to a place where I could sleep with random dudes to feel good about myself.

Laurie: Wait, why do we have to have coffee over here?
Jules: 'Cause wherever I am is where we have coffee.
Ellie: But this is horrible.

I used to watch Jeopardy! everyday because I had a major lady rod for Alex Trebek. Till I found out he was Canadian. Gross.

Never judge a book by its front parts.

Wrong Balls is trending on Twitter. It's above Bieber.

The answer was Grandma Moses. You should have gotten that Ellie; weren't the two of you sorority sisters?

I heard she kicked your ass. Must sting to lose to Oldielocks.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 131 in total
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