Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town

I don't know exactly what your race is, but I am into it in a big way.

If someone was up on my man like that. I would lace up my ass kicking boots.

Ellie: If I get murdered I need you to tell the police something.
Laurie: Seriously, if I had a dime.

Ellie: You know if they just wanted to see some dumb, townie ho floppin' her ta-tas all they need to do is stay here and give ten dollars to-
Laurie: Yeah, yeah, yeah I know where you're goin' with this.
Ellie: Let me finish. You.

Ellie: Eat your chips, Jellybean.
Laurie: I don't wanna.
Ellie. Play with the bag.

When Smith dumped me. It literally took me months to get back to a place where I could sleep with random dudes to feel good about myself.

Laurie: Wait, why do we have to have coffee over here?
Jules: 'Cause wherever I am is where we have coffee.
Ellie: But this is horrible.

I used to watch Jeopardy! everyday because I had a major lady rod for Alex Trebek. Till I found out he was Canadian. Gross.

Never judge a book by its front parts.

Wrong Balls is trending on Twitter. It's above Bieber.

The answer was Grandma Moses. You should have gotten that Ellie; weren't the two of you sorority sisters?

I heard she kicked your ass. Must sting to lose to Oldielocks.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 131 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

× Close Ad