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Peter becomes jealous of Lois reuniting with an old boyfriend and the two go through a trial separation where he hooks up with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian get stuck together after Stewie plays with industrial strength glue.
After getting a DUI, Brian is forced to care for a bitter old woman that used to be a jingle singer. Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard and discovers a family of rare swallows living in it.
While teaching Chris about his Irish heritage, Peter discovers he has a black ancestor and that he was a slave to Lois' family. Meanwhile, Stewie attempts to learn mind control from the school cheerleaders.
Meg's crush on Tom Tucker has her apply for an internship at the local television station only to find out her partner is the nerdy Neil. Meanwhile, Stewie's new tricycle is stolen by a bully and Stewie teaches him a lesson.
When Peter discovers Chris has a larger penis than him, he tries to compensate with a new car and joining a gun club. Peter eventually takes him out to a father-son hunting trip where Chris saves the day. Meg finds herself the target of the cool girls when she joins the flag squad.
When a hurricane strikes Quahog, everything id destroyed except The Drunken Clam, which is purchased by a Nigel who turns it into an English pub. Nigel also becomes Peter's new neighbor and Stewie tries to teach their daughter to speak "proper English."
Peter's toy company gets bought by El Dorado Cigarette company and they begin using the toys to market cigarettes to kids. Peter talks to his new bosses about his disgust, and they end up promoting him president to shut him up.