"Short Cuts"

On Family Guy Season 18 Episode 11, Lois gets a pixie cut against Peter's wishes, so Peter tries to embarrass her and Brian accidentally becomes a local hero.

"Connie's Celica"

On Family Guy Season 18 Episode 10, Lois gets a job as the music teacher at Chris and Meg's school and a mean student, Connie, makes her a target.

"Christmas Is Coming"

On Family Guy Season 18 Episode 9, when Meg takes Stewie to the mall to meet Santa, she has a surprising response while Stewie is scarred by the experience.


On Family Guy Season 18 Episode 8, Peter decides the best way to avoid Lois's special Thanksgiving dinner is to get arrested while Stewie has a secret revealed.

"Heart Burn"

On Family Guy Season 18 Episode 7, the Griffins recount their own versions of three well-known love stories in celebration of Peter and Lois' anniversary.

"Peter & Lois' Wedding"

On Family Guy Season 18 Episode 6, with the wi-fi out, Peter and Lois decide to tell the kids the story of how they met and fell in love in the '90s.

"Cat Fight"

On Family Guy Season 18 Episode 5, when Quagmire decides to open a cat café in town, Brian chooses to take a stand to get the café shut down.

"Disney's The Reboot"

On Family Guy Season 18 Episode 4, the network decides it's time to explore some unique ways to reboot the series and the feedback takes some surprising turns.

"Absolutely Babulous"

On Family Guy Season 18 Episode 3, Stewie receives a participation medal in his school's toddler games and then begins to question everything he has ever won.


On Family Guy Season 18 Episode 2, Peter straps on Joe's police bodycam to record his every move so he and his friends can remember what they do while drinking.

Family Guy Quotes

[disappointedly] You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes ya feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah. You're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changin'. I like me. My kids like me. My friends like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.


Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley