When a bully picks on Chris, he goes to Peter for help, who ends up beating the kid senseless. Meanwhile, when Stewie goes out without sunscreen and accidentally gets a tan, he becomes obsessed with tanning.
Lois discovers that the school has been teaching Chris incorrect things about sex, so she volunteers to teach the sex-ed class. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes terrified of the tooth fairy and sets traps to catch her.
After blowing off his fingers with some fireworks, Peter can't get all his work done. Lois comes to the brewery to help him out. Meanwhile, Stewie discovers that Brian is dating Jillian, an attractive, but dumb woman.
Don't mind me you guys, I'm just writing a letter to my boyfriend. Dear, my boyfriend, thank you for making out with me recently, on purpose. That was cool. Those flowers that you totally sent me, were really pretty. Just like you said I am. Love, Meg.