Family Guy Quotes
Read through our section of Family Guy quotes today. We update it on a weekly basis to include the most uproarious quips and one-liners from the funniest show on TV.
Oh I will find one. I mean, you are looking at the guy who found the fountain of youth. It is very far away from here,Peter
Hey, its Thanksgiving. Shouldn't you be in Detroit losing a football game right about now.Brian
Four years later me and Lois divorced and Stewie died. Gobble gobble.Peter
- Permalink: Four years later me and Louise divorced and Stewie died. Gobble gobble.
Well the fat man is never going to get back in time, and with him gone that makes you the man of the house.Stewie
Hi there folks! Hand over the turkey!
- Permalink: Hi there folks! Hand over the turkey!
No, but why are you saying the dogs name before dads.Chris
- Permalink: No, but why are you saying the dogs name before dads.
Well last night me and Brian got drunk and ate the turkey, but before you get mad we also ate the salad.Peter
Even though I know you never liked me, you still helped me when I really needed it. That says a lot about your character. I'm ashamed of myself, because I am none of the things you are. You're honest, and direct, and compassionate, aaaaand that's 72 hours! Enjoy your crap-hole dumbass!Brian
When you were poor, you were always a douche, but at least you came by it honestly. But now, screwing over the people that helped you! I don't know how you sleep at night!Quagmire
You know, I have a lot of fun up here in my room.Stewie
- Permalink: You know, I have a lot of fun up here in my room.
Well, if anyone knows how to pull out it's Quagmire!Stewie
- Permalink: Well, if anyone knows how to pull out it's Quagmire!
Well, for the next 72 hours, I'm going to be harder to find than a nice cat.Brian