Stewie: Yes looks like someone's gone at him with a whip.
Brian: That is a perfectly valid way of saying that. Bravo master.
Stewie: Master? Aaand a surprisingly quick erection for Stewie.

Neil: Is this a nut free counter?
Chris: Uh I don't know, my dad's might have been on there at some point.

Oh yeah 'cause you know him so well, shut your faaaaaace.

Stewie

Brian: Well I don't know if I'd label myself a drinker. I know I like a cold beer after I mow the lawn.
Peter: There were three lies in that sentence.

Peter: I missed you Brian.
Brian: I missed you too Peter.
Peter: And now Im gonna go upstairs and pee in Meg's bed.
Brian: No, we're going to go pee in Meg's bed.
Peter: Good boy.

Oh god how do you get pink-eye? This is got to be it!

Peter

He's my friend, I miss him.

Peter

You go ahead, I have to make the waffle fries you scream-requested in the car.

Brian

Brian: Permission to take fast tiny bites at my own tail, sir?
Peter: Go ahead.

Home-Ec just got out, and I'm gonna go lick all their bowls.

Meg

It enhances my life to know how your life is going!

Peter

How are we going to catch Abu Nasir!?

Larry

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Now I may be an idiot, but there's one thing I am not sir, and that sir, is an idiot.

Peter