Now all I need is a group photo of me kneeling in front of the village so I can brag about what a good person I am.

Peter

It's true. Even at the speed of light, mean-spirited thoughts from the stars can take thousands or even millions of years to reach the earth. Hamburger.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Are you about done? I'm supposed to go lion hunting with a scumbag dentist.

Carter

Carter; Tear it all down. Now. Or I'm cancelling Kwanzaa.
Warlord: What is Kwanzaa?
Carter: Ha! I knew it wasn't real.

Carter: So that money's just been Josh Hartnetted?
Peter: What's that?
Carter: Gone, disappeared, never to be heard from again.

I got to email that to Babs. She hates people.

Carter

Not everyone can be as fascinating as you, Brian.

Stewie

Spending the day with him is going to be worse than eating at a ballpark.

Peter

The good news is that now he can go back to being a regular kid.

Brian

Besides, it's been a while since we ate at a place where, if you ask for ketchup, they look at your like you're dirt.

Peter

Oh, my grundle. It's bruised. It's bruised bad.

Stewie

He's happier than a sunny side up egg.

Peter

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley