Cam: He is so adorable.
Mitch: I know, isn't he? Remember when Lily was like this?
Lily: What do you say when I'm not here?

I wanted two rough and tumble boys. I got a Manny and a pedi.

Jay

Cam: Woo! That's the real Jay!
Jay: You know it! [snaps finger]

Nobody likes dancing more than the gays. Pretend you're on a float!

Mitch

When it comes to wine, this woman doesn't see color. She'll drink anything you put in front of her.

Phil

Haley: I hope I can be as cool as you guys in 30 years.
Gloria: Does she think we're fifty?
Mitch: No, she's just really bad at math.

The family needs a leader, and I can't do it forever. You can handle it.

Jay

You're not going to drive me into a bad neighborhood to show me how lucky I am, are you?

Alex

I knew we should have poured the tequila in your belly button. That's why they have these systems in place.

Manny

If God wants a hamburger, this is what she cooks it on!

Phil

You know what a human pyramid is without hours of training? Ten obituaries!

Phil

I couldn't be more relaxed if I was in a coma.

Claire

Modern Family Quotes

That's why we chose our secret warrior signal. My first suggestion was to blow a Viking horn. Don't google that, by the way.

Phil

90 percent of being a dad is just showing up

Jay