Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Gloria: How dumb do they think we are?
Phil: Sometimes Claire leaves me pictures instead of food instead of a shopping list.

Mitchell: What's happening?
Cam: I don't know Google him.
Mitchell: I didn't spring for an international data plan.

Jay I miss you. Besides I don't know that I can keep Phil safe anymore, I think he's going to die here.

Gloria

Haley: Lily what did I just say?
Lily: I don't know, something about shoes probably.

This country's number one export is hot surfers. I'm not gonna buy the first one I see, I'm still browsing.

Haley

Calm down, you're gonna spook the boob.

Luke [to Manny]

Manny: Bondi Beach is topless.
Luke: Thank you Trip Advisor.

Claire: I'm sorry but you know how i am about heights.
Gloria: Is that why you never wear high heels?

Gloria: I don't eat anything unless I know what's in it.
Jay: I've once seen this woman scarf down a pig's nose.

It's a good time to tell you I dropped Luke on his head when he was one.

Jay

Mitchell: This is how Cam's dad sees me, like some fawning damsel.
Jay: If anything, Cam's the damsel.
Mitchell: Dad! Thanks.

C'mon we gotta go! That party's full of sophomores. Those women have lived.

Luke
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