Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

I was kind of the star of the evening. I got a huge laugh when I coined the phrase “shelf esteem.” Huh? Yeah? Okay, I’ll text it to Phil.

Claire

Sisters before misters!

Gloria

Lily: Y’all fightin?
Cam: No no sweetie, we’re just having a conversation about how your daddy can be so stuck up.

Hello Houstons? We have a situation.

Gloria

Manny: You know what’s super helpful? When the guy in line behind you calls you Mount Sweatmore.
Luke: I was trying to relax you.

Phil: Who says people at the closet convention get all the fun?
Luke: No one, no one says that.

Missouri, misery, huh?

Mitchell

Closet Con is the premiere North American trade show for the closet industry. I stopped going years ago because it’s a trade show for the closet industry.

Jay

Haley: I’m Alex, who are you?
Andy: I’m their manny.
Haley: Nice try, I know their Manny and you look nothing like him.
Andy: Ohhh, you’re Haley.

Displaying quotes 91 - 99 of 1172 in total