Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Do you see anything suspicious? Like smoke, or paraphernalia, or nachos?

Claire

Mitchell: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
Cam: Well you did and do you know what the sad thing is? We could be laughing at someone's calf implants right now.

Haley: That's the old salvage yard where kids go to get high.
Claire: What? We are going there right now!
Phil: Wait, wait are you sure?
Haley: I'm gonna answer and then I'm gonna walk away, deal? I'm 420% sure.
Phil: Wow, she's bad at math.

Yes people are allowed their private thoughts and I shouldn't be so angry, but I'm latin so I get to feel whatever i want.

Gloria

Phil: Sounds fun, wear your helmets.
Manny: We will. I'm not writing my first novel by blowing through a tube.

Manny: You have to face it Jay, one day I’m gonna be moving out of this house.
Jay: Can I get that in writing? Cause I just can’t shake this image of a 30 year old you, eating my food and cuddling with my wife.
Gloria: Boys should never stop cuddling their mothers.
Jay: I’m gonna have nightmares!

I don’t get it, you’re the greatest generation, but why can’t you feel?

Manny [to Jay]

Oh please. He slips in and out of that accent like Kate Winslet in Titanic.

Mitchell [about Cam]

Jay: I’m waiting for a phone call from my doctor’s office. Please rate your prostate exam. Would you say you were satisfied?
Gloria: I hope you weren’t!

We didn’t say Grace, we said on your marks, get set go.

Cam

Look, I have no problem drinking. I can literally do it standing on my head. But A ,not with my parents. Plus also I needed to stay sharp because they were obviously up to something and I was in no mood. I barely got 10 hours of sleep last night.

Haley

Phil: He seems like a real go-getter huh?
Haley: Why cause he goes and gets things?

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 1251 in total
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