Modern Family Quotes
Phil: Happy Valentine's Day by the way.
Claire: Ew no, I'm gross and sweaty from running.
Whats next you're gonna dress her in fishnets? Put her in a window in Amsterdam? Just keep it casual!Jay [about Stella]
This is a place of business. She needs to throw a tarp over those bounce houses.Jay
It is really nice to be liked for who you really are pretending to be.Mitchell
Claire: What party?
Mitchell: Aw the two saddest words in the English language.
Looks like someone has an issue with anger franagment!Mitchell
Oh c'mon please, my dad is Ms. Dunphy, I'm just Claire!Claire
Claire: Well hello! How is your first day back in the closet...business?
Mitchell: That makes no sense, I've never worked here before.
Claire: It's just a gay joke Mitchell. Don't over-think it.
Alex: I know all you had to do to get into their college was like their Facebook page, but this is Princeton. I have to show them that I'm a serious thinker. And you could be a bit more supportive.
Haley: You're right I'm sorry. Your outfit's perfect.
Haley: If you're applying to lumberjack school. And majoring in having your cats eat you when you die.
Mitchell: Wow remember when you dropped me off at summer camp? You barely slowed down the car.
Jay: You never had a condition that made it difficult to breathe.
Mitchell: I was a closeted gay kid at sports camp. I spent the week in mid-faint.
Manny: You know now that I think about it, I could be allergic to Stella. I've been a little stuff since we got her.
Jay: You were stuffy long before that. Do you not remember scolding that waiter at Chuck E Cheese for serving you from the right.
Gloria: He thinks he might be allergic to Stella.
Jay: What? The only reaction this dog gives people is the giggles.