You're the last person who should give me anything. You got me here. You got me to graduation, to Cal tech. You did it. You're done.

Alex

Now, I didn't tell Cam, because I was embarrassed, but also because I knew -- I knew I would get another job just like that. It's been a month.

Mitchell

Congrats! I'm gonna roll away before you spit on my screen again!

Phil

I just had to plug him in. It was a nice reversal from when I had to pull the plug on my dad in the hospital.

Andy

Manny: I think it's a bold step, and I support you in your journey of self improvement.
Gloria: No, you're not getting your hair straightened.

It would kill me if I thought that what I felt would hold you back from getting something that you wanted.

Jay

Can we maybe stay on my problem until the bread comes?

Claire

I wanna kiss you, but I have surgery breath.

Manny

Mitchell: Oh my gosh, you cut yourself.
Lily: Don't get blood in my eggs.

Mitchell: Oh my god. That burger was so good, I feel like I just cheated on you.
Cam: Yeah, I heard the moaning.

I gotta stop talking to that kid while I'm drinking.

Jay

I'm not a doctor yet, but it seems like you're having some sort of brain episode.

Alex

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Cameron: If I wasn't in school or fishing, I was clowning. There are four types of clowns: a tramp, Auguste, a whiteface, and a character. I am a classically trained Auguste clown named Fizbo.
Mitchell: Between the clowning and the fishing, I'm surprised you had time for the schooling. Aww, there's the fifth type, the sad clown.
Cameron: A sad clown is a tramp.. so there's still only four types.