As an actual glasses wearer, I find it offensive.

Alex

All I wanted was to bribe my way into that school by making cubbies that stuff didn't fall out of.

Jay

We're like magnets, that sometimes take a break to date other magnets.

Dylan

What's going on Daddy, are we poor?

Lily

Everyone has their strengths. I'm a great gift-giver.

Mitchell

You're the last person who should give me anything. You got me here. You got me to graduation, to Cal tech. You did it. You're done.

Alex

Now, I didn't tell Cam, because I was embarrassed, but also because I knew -- I knew I would get another job just like that. It's been a month.

Mitchell

Congrats! I'm gonna roll away before you spit on my screen again!

Phil

I just had to plug him in. It was a nice reversal from when I had to pull the plug on my dad in the hospital.

Andy

Manny: I think it's a bold step, and I support you in your journey of self improvement.
Gloria: No, you're not getting your hair straightened.

It would kill me if I thought that what I felt would hold you back from getting something that you wanted.

Jay

Can we maybe stay on my problem until the bread comes?

Claire

Modern Family Quotes

That's why we chose our secret warrior signal. My first suggestion was to blow a Viking horn. Don't google that, by the way.

Phil

Margaret is very vulnerable! I've had to rescue her a bunch of times from cults and an Amway pyramid.

Jay