Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Haley: Oh my God I'm missing a text.
Alex: It just got real didn't it?

Her head sounds like pop rocks.

Cam

You win an Oscar. You buy a Golden Globe.

Cam

I have a mandate and not the kind you hide from your wife.

Gil

That's different, that was gossip and gossip belongs to everyone.

Cam

Gloria: Some people you turn your back for one second and they have another family from the bad side of town.
Jay: You ARE my other family from the bad side of town.

Should you be more worried that Haley has a nurse's uniform in her closet?

Alex

Do you see anything suspicious? Like smoke, or paraphernalia, or nachos?

Claire

Mitchell: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
Cam: Well you did and do you know what the sad thing is? We could be laughing at someone's calf implants right now.

Haley: That's the old salvage yard where kids go to get high.
Claire: What? We are going there right now!
Phil: Wait, wait are you sure?
Haley: I'm gonna answer and then I'm gonna walk away, deal? I'm 420% sure.
Phil: Wow, she's bad at math.

Yes people are allowed their private thoughts and I shouldn't be so angry, but I'm latin so I get to feel whatever i want.

Gloria

Phil: Sounds fun, wear your helmets.
Manny: We will. I'm not writing my first novel by blowing through a tube.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 1222 in total

Modern Family Quotes

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Gloria

You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.

Phil
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