Modern Family Quotes
Oh what? The mascot's a beaver, those jokes will get old.Claire
- Permalink: Oh what? The mascot's a beaver, those jokes will get old.
Okay you need to calm down. This college tour, not Oprah's favorite things.Alex
Listen to me. I think you went to the jewelry store inside here (points to Jay's heart) and brought back a gem.Manny
I think I could be a little less Ryan Gosling, and a little more everyman.Cam
Claire: Check this out, a reflecting pond.
Alex: Great maybe you can see how crazy you’re being right now.
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You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.Phil
A lot of people assumed that I married you for your money and that’s only a very, very small part of it. I married you because you’re sexy. You still are. Who knows how long that’s going to last for either of us?Gloria
Cam: Hey counselor, what do I have to do to get you to drop that suit?
Mitchell: Cam what are you doing here?
Cam: Surprising my hugs-band!
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That's the fourth Hawaiian shirt he's lost. I'm telling you this is a Dateline story waiting to happen!Jay
Haley: You have plenty of room!
Luke: No, move out. You're 40!
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Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.Gloria
- Permalink: Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.
Mitchell: There is no easy way to ask this, but are you all high?
Claire: No Mitchell, we're happy.
- Permalink: No Mitchell, we're happy.
By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.Jay
- Permalink: By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.
Claire: My mom started drinking these cocktails called "horny Colombians" with some of Gloria's uncles, whom apparently the drink was named after
Phil: Oh come, they were funny
Claire: They kept grabbing my butt
Phil: Somebody is full of herself. It's a Colombian wedding tradition.. they said
- Permalink: My mom started drinking these c**ktails called horny Colombians ...