Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

Unlike you, I don't need a reason to watch a bunch of guys run around in shorts.

Mitchell [to Jay]

I had a choice to make. Be the better dancer or the bigger man. So I stepped off the dance floor and made the obvious call. You wanna win over a crowd? Invite a lonely mom to dance. She never saw it coming and neither did he.

Cam

They say the greats never let anything affect their performance. Well maybe the greats never had a daughter who checked out during the third of five planned real time wardrobe changes. But I'm not gonna lie, it knocked me off my game.

Phil

Trust me, when I get done talking to her not only will she have confessed to the crime, I might even sell her a closet.

Jay

You know what I say, I might be coach but I like to travel first class!

Cam

Now there are pushy obnoxious moms, who try and get involved, nudge them towards one another...we mean well.

Claire

Ew it's so sad when parents try. My mom double pierced one of her ears and I'm like "Hello! You're 50."

Alex

I've been lonely. Having a mirror in my room will be like having company.

Haley

What happened to him? He didn't used to be that self-conscious before high school. He used to go around in his poncho, play the band flute. I miss my old Manny.

Gloria

A happy kid is like an anti-depressant. But a natural one, not the kind your husband has to find in your jewelry drawer.

Phil

Haley: Oh my God I'm missing a text.
Alex: It just got real didn't it?

Her head sounds like pop rocks.

Cam
Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 1244 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

Just coffee for me today. Black. Like I feel on the inside.

Manny
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