He looks like that nerdy lesbian from Scooby-Boo.

Jules: What the hell was that?
Laurie: You're getting landlined.

Honey, cutting crotches out of pants is not sewing.

I'm gonna make that pale ass, icy bitch love me whether she likes it or not.

Ellie: Wow, you're annoying.
Jules: I know, but I'll always have your back.
Ellie: And I'm more loyal than I am mean.
Jules: Oh, well you're real loyal aren't you?

Grayson: And is this why Travis thinks he's so handsome.
Jules: Yep, that's all me.

Jules: I can't even be a whore?
Travis: Mom, I think you would be an amazing whore-oh my God I can't believe I just said that.

Oh my God, your purse could be my purse's mom.

They're like fire hydrants, but useful.

Jules: This sucks I need Grayson to care about what's going on in our lives. All I ever wanted was to grow old with someone and argue with them while we drink wine.
Ellie: That sounds like us. What do you say we pack it all in and become big ol' dykes?
Jules: No, not yet, but I'd like to know that choice is out there. Stay skinny just in case.
Ellie: Deal.

Ellie this isn't fun anymore turn it off.

Jules: Who pretend throws things to show their anger?!
Grayson: Lots of people.

Cougar Town Quotes

Jules: Wine in the morning on the weekends. Lets all think about it people.
Bobby: Think about what?
Grayson: Morning drinking.

Jules: It's time to suck up!
Ellie: That's for boys.
Jules: It's time to uterus up!