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Cougar-town

Travis: You know, I've actually been experimenting at school.
Ellie: I totally called that!
Jules: What's his name? Is he cute?
Travis: I meant with religion.
Jules: Aw man, I was excited to show you how cool I'd be about it.

Laurie: Man hands? You're stealing jokes from Seinfeld now?
Jules: Was that that Jewish guy you dated in High School?
Ellie: No, he had a huge TV show. Must see TV?
Jules: Never heard of it. No one's gonna tell me what's must see.

He looks like that nerdy lesbian from Scooby-Boo.

Jules: What the hell was that?
Laurie: You're getting landlined.

Honey, cutting crotches out of pants is not sewing.

I'm gonna make that pale ass, icy bitch love me whether she likes it or not.

Ellie: Wow, you're annoying.
Jules: I know, but I'll always have your back.
Ellie: And I'm more loyal than I am mean.
Jules: Oh, well you're real loyal aren't you?

Grayson: And is this why Travis thinks he's so handsome.
Jules: Yep, that's all me.

Jules: I can't even be a whore?
Travis: Mom, I think you would be an amazing whore-oh my God I can't believe I just said that.

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