Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town
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Jules: Still, Ellie thinks she's horrible, and we all agree with her.
Grayson: Oh.

Dead mom high five!

Jules: What are you guys doing here anyway?
Travis: We're stealing-
Jules: -I'm in! I love it when we do things as a family!

Jules: No one gets any wine until they say something nice about Ellie.
Laurie: I'm going to a bar.

Ellie: You're not crazy about the ditzy, trashy, fake blonde, fake tan, fake boobs, club skank you one-night standed to make that baby.
Jules: She says it better.

Mother of God I gotta drink!

Jules: Ellie, I had to titi in the yard.
Ellie: Why wouldn't you just go in the shower?
Jules: Gross.

Grayson: You know, as a parent.
Jules: As a parent? You just found out you were a Dad 48 hours ago.
Ellie: Yeah, come down Day 2. Now, as a parent of several years what I think-
Jules: I'll let you finish that thought if you can tell me where your child is right now.
Ellie: I'm out.

You have a lost and found Bang Box? Disgusting.

Jules: When I rank all the things that make me want to die it goes: books, snakes, PBS, acapella.

He's a group exploder. It's a gift.

You're the kiss master.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 300 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

Wooo! How can I do woo wrong?

Jules