Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town

Jules: Still, Ellie thinks she's horrible, and we all agree with her.
Grayson: Oh.

Dead mom high five!

Jules: What are you guys doing here anyway?
Travis: We're stealing-
Jules: -I'm in! I love it when we do things as a family!

Jules: No one gets any wine until they say something nice about Ellie.
Laurie: I'm going to a bar.

Ellie: You're not crazy about the ditzy, trashy, fake blonde, fake tan, fake boobs, club skank you one-night standed to make that baby.
Jules: She says it better.

Mother of God I gotta drink!

Jules: Ellie, I had to titi in the yard.
Ellie: Why wouldn't you just go in the shower?
Jules: Gross.

Grayson: You know, as a parent.
Jules: As a parent? You just found out you were a Dad 48 hours ago.
Ellie: Yeah, come down Day 2. Now, as a parent of several years what I think-
Jules: I'll let you finish that thought if you can tell me where your child is right now.
Ellie: I'm out.

You have a lost and found Bang Box? Disgusting.

Jules: When I rank all the things that make me want to die it goes: books, snakes, PBS, acapella.

He's a group exploder. It's a gift.

You're the kiss master.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 300 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

× Close Ad