17 Top Energy Vampires on Television
Lisa Babick
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TV loves to mirror the real world and, like the real world, energy vampires abound in TV land.
We all know a least one energy vampire, and probably know of more than one on our favorite TV show.
These are people whose lives are a neverending drama or someone who plays the victim every chance he or she gets.
They may be a narcissist or judgmental or pretend they're innocent when they're really not.
They sap your energy and leave you nearly lifeless so why do we keep coming back for more?
Here are the 17 Top Energy Vampires on Television.
Can you think of others? Hit the comments and let us know!
1. The Kardashians - Keeping Up with the Kardashians
Drama, drama, and more drama. If there's one family that will exhaust the heck out of you it's the Kardashians. It doesn't matter which one. All of them dish out their share. Even if you aren't looking for their incessant ramblings, they are always there ready to suck the life out of you.
2. Colin Robinson - What We Do in the Shadows
Colin is the world's most devious energy vampire. Wherever he goes, he's sure to suck out at least a little of your energy. His nonstop talking about nonsensical things is exasperating, and he's a master of getting on your last nerve. But by the time you figure out what he's doing, it's already too late. That energy you had just five minutes ago? Gone.
3. Karen Walker - Will & Grace
Karen Walker has a flair for the dramatic and the sarcastic. But it's her shrill voice that will send you over the edge. Her nonstop blatherings and insults will devour every ounce of your energy and make you wish you had stayed clear of this vampire.
4. Michael Scott - The Office
Bosses are supposed to energize you, but Michael does just the opposite. Nothing he says makes any sense, and everything that comes out of his mouth is beyond boring. But that's one of the specialties of an energy vampire -- bore you to death and suck the life out of you.
5. Felicity Smoak - Arrow
People who think they know everything are the worst. Nothing you can say or do can ever top what they say or do. Yet, it's hard not to try to convince one of these people they're wrong, but that's exactly what they want from you. Exasperate yourself so they can feast.
6. Lizzie Saltzman - Legacies
There's no one Lizzie loves more than herself. And for those who fall into her self-absorption trap, there's no escape. She wants to create the perfect image, and once you're under her spell, your energy becomes her power.
7. Sheldon Cooper - The Big Bang Theory
There's nothing more energy-sapping than a nerdy genius. It's not that we're against nerds or geniuses, but when the only meaningful conversation you can have with a guy like Sheldon is about Star Trek, well, we'd rather not. Not only that, Sheldon is another person who thinks he knows more than everyone else, and that in itself will tire you out in no time.
8. Missy Cooper - Young Sheldon
Little kids are the energy vampires everyone seems to forget. The worst ones are those that never stop chatting. Try to tune these kids out all you want, but before you know it you'll be reaching for a pillow and blanket wondering where all your patience -- and energy went.
9. Cam Tucker - Modern Family
We love Cam. We really do, but his need for attention and drama can be too much at times. He always seems to need a moment, and the more people he can involve in his overblown crises, the better. He's an energy vampire of the worst kind, and one you need to stay far, far away from.
10. Ruby Johnson - Black-ish
Ruby is an energy vampire who stays hidden in the shadows until it's time to strike. Like most vampire mothers, she comes out when you least expect it and at your most vulnerable times. Lost your job? Time for her to feed? Arguing with the spouse? Time for her to feed. She might seem like she cares, but all your troubles are what she loves to feed on most.
11. Jill Kendall - Mom
Have problems much? Women like Jill Kendall are conduits for drama. Every problem a person could have, Jill has gone through it, and she's more than happy to let you know about it, too. There's nothing wrong with trying to help a friend out, but when every day presents a new problem, it's time to find a new friend -- unless you love being sucked dry.
12. Cordelia Chase - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
It's funny that an energy vampire lived in the Buffyverse. Sure she ended up with all kinds of weird powers and whatnot later in life, but she started out as an energy vampire without anyone even knowing it. It was all about Cordelia 24/7, but money will do that to some people.
13. Malory Archer - Archer
Malory Archer is a tiring old bitch who loves nothing more than to prey on what she thinks is the weak-minded. She loves to bully, is an elitist, and loves nothing more than to prove she's right. If she finds you in her grasp, there is no escape. She'll talk you down and suck the life right out of you -- and maybe even brag about it in the process.
14. Lady Mary - Downton Abbey
Death of a loved one changes people, and in Lady Mary's case, not for the better. She's a sneaky energy vampire using her grief as a way to get the most out of her unknowing victims.
15. Jane Sloan - The Bold Type
Jane likes to be in control and that is one of the signs of a truly dangerous energy vampire. When things don't go her way, she'll cry on your shoulder wondering why her life is so bleak, all the while sucking the happiness and life right out of you.
16. Dann - The Orville
Dann is not the type of friend you want to have. He's awkward and will insert himself into conversations to which he has no business mostly because no one likes him. It gives him the perfect opportunity to prey on your kindness while he bores you to tears with stupid jokes and useless chatter.
17. Jackie Harris - The Conners
Jackie has never been a stable person. Her life is filled with neverending drama which she loves to share with anyone who will listen. She wants people to feel sorry for her because it gives her easy access to feed off you whenever she's hungry.
