The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes
(to Bart) Keep up the roughhousing, boy. Without a strong male figure, you could turn sissy overnight. (as he's scrubbing his underwear) Oh, these stubborn grass stains.Homer
Groundskeeper Willy: If I wanted to see a man eat an orange, I'd have taken the orange eating class.
(cut to orange eating class)
Moleman: The eating of a good orange is a lot like a successful marriage.
Grampa: Just eat the damn orange!
(After an insect falls out of his hair) You think you get them all, but you forget about the eggs.Otto
Homer: (playing poker, gagging and coughing up poker chips) Ew! Don't try to eat these so called "chips".
Moe: Are you gonna take some cards, or not?
(takes four cards)
Homer: D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Er, I mean, "woo hoo".
Moe: I'm in.
Homer: Aww, I was bluffing.
(lays out cards)
Moe: Ha, ha, ha! Come to papa!
(takes chips and looks at cards)
Moe: What? You have a straight flush, Homer! Ya do this every time! Arrrgh-eeengh-gah! Choking on my own rage here!
Lisa: Will you be lecturing from a standardized text or using the more Socratic method of interactive class participation?
Homer: Yes, Lisa. Daddy's a teacher.
Receptionist: Hello, sir. Are you here for "Coping With Senility?"
Jasper: No. I'm here for "Microwave Cookery" ... No, wait, "Coping With Senility."
I can't believe I paid ten-thousand dollars for this class. What the hell was that lab fee for!?Otto
If he can teach a class, then he can teach a class! I mean, I can teach a class!Homer
Well, let's just call them... uh, 'Mr. X' and 'Mrs. Y'. So anyway, Mr. X would say, "Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson!"Homer
Moe: Hey Homer, why don't you nibble her elbow...that always melts her butter, heh heh.
Marge: Get out! Everyone get out now!
Apu: Ooooh, she's got to have it!
Annex Manager: We need someone to teach a course on how to build a successful marriage.
Homer: I'll do it! Anything to get me out of that house, away from all that nagging, and noise... uh, of a family of love. Tra-la-la-la!
Bart: I missed you so much that I couldn't concentrate in school and I got an "F."
Homer: This is dated two weeks ago.
Bart: Oh, sorry. Here's a fresh one.