The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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What the? This isn't Halloween.

Homer

Thank you magical creatures of the mall! You have all taught me a Christmas message I'll never forget. The place to get drunk is at home.

Homer

You're all right stupid Flanders, you're all right.

Homer

Homer: Yeah, but doesn't the money go to schools?
Apu: You have been to our schools, what do you think?

Homer: Well good luck assembling all those toys without me!
Patty: We already did it!
Homer: Ah! The ghost of Marge future!

Lisa: Mom, where's dad?
Marge: I don't know.
Bart: Aw it's Christmas Eve man, we do not want to set a precedent for fat guys being late tonight!

Homer: What I feel is envy.
Lisa: Wow! He's right.

Bart: What's a game show?
Homer: Something you make sketches about.

I want his fame and fortune so much. Why must the lords of rock be so cruel?

Homer

Oh, what kind of erotic asphyxia?

Homer

Yep, it's all about the music and it would take a pretty unforeseen circumstance to make that change. Pretty unforeseen.

Homer

This is embarrassing to admit, but I haven't even thought about gels.

Homer
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 3443 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart