The Simpsons Quotes
Bart: You did it Homer, you saved me from the bullies, you're the coolest kid I've ever met.
Milhouse: What about me?
Bart: You're in the top hundred.
Bart: Now you're not.
- Permalink: Now you're not.
Ok Marge we can go to the circus, maybe I can finally find out why a man would think a stool is a proper defense against a lion.Homer
I don't have time for childish games. If I don't do my job, atoms go boom!Homer
It's like rooting for the Cubs, you keep thinking they'll make it, and then you realize they never ever will.Don
Well I guess we've learned that of all the countless planets in the universe, we have evolved into the most inedible species. Like three bean salad at a barbecue, we will remain untouched.Lisa
Marge: Homer, you have to stop dropping your pants for everyone who claims they're a doctor.
- Permalink: Fine.
Wow, this place is completely alien, but everything's in English, just like Canada!Homer
Homer: Look at all these knobs and buttons. They're clearly a superior race. Maybe that means they'll be nice to us.
Lisa: You mean like Europeans were to the Native Americans or the Belgians were to The Congo?
Homer: That's right, pick the only two times in history where things got messy.
- Permalink: That's right, pick the only two times in history where things got messy.
They revamped this ride because of massive complaints from two people.Lisa
- Permalink: They revamped this ride because of massive complaints from two people.
What the? This isn't Halloween.Homer
- Permalink: What the? This isn't Halloween.
Thank you magical creatures of the mall! You have all taught me a Christmas message I'll never forget. The place to get drunk is at home.Homer
You're all right stupid Flanders, you're all right.Homer
- Permalink: You're all right stupid Flanders, you're all right.
Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
- Permalink: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles tri...
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
- Permalink: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut! Twenty dollars can buy...