The New Coach - The Simpsons

The New Coach - The Simpsons

Groundskeeper Willie is named the coach of the Mathlete's on The Simpsons. "Mathlete's Feat" is the 22nd episode of the show's 26th season.
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Bully Rehab - The Simpsons

Bully Rehab - The Simpsons

Homer gets sent to rehab for bullying on The Simpsons. "Bull-E" is the 21st episode of the show's 26th season.
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Air Force Days - The Simpsons

Air Force Days - The Simpsons

Grampa relieves his Air Force days on The Simpsons. "Let's Go Fly a Coot" is the 20th episode of the shows 26th season.
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The Start of the Fight - The Simpsons

The Start of the Fight - The Simpsons

A roll of film uncovers how Homer and Lisa first started fighting on The Simpsons. "The Kids Are All Fight" is the 19th episode of the show's 26the season.
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Head to Head - The Simpsons

Head to Head - The Simpsons

Marge goes head to head with Bart when she doesn't believe his story on The Simpsons. "Peeping Mom" is the 18th episode of the show's 26th season.
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Staying Sober - The Simpsons

Staying Sober - The Simpsons

Homer finds out he must stay sober to keep his postion as Duffman's replacement on The Simpsons. "Waiting for Duffman" is the 17th episode of the show's 26th season.
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Jet Pack Debacle - The Simpsons

Jet Pack Debacle - The Simpsons

Chief Wiggum's jet pack slams into the church on The Simpsons. "Sky Police" is the 16th episode of the show's 26th season.
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Moe Falls for a Princess - The Simpsons

Moe Falls for a Princess - The Simpsons

Moe falls for a princess whose father is working with Mr. Burns on The Simpsons. "The Princess Guide" is the 15th episode of the show's 26th season.
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Marge Has Had Enough - The Simpsons

Marge Has Had Enough - The Simpsons

Marge has had enough of driving her kids around on The Simpsons. "My Fare Lady" is the 14th episode of the show's 26th season.
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The Town Anthem - The Simpsons

The Town Anthem - The Simpsons

Lisa decides to compose a new town anthem on The Simpsons. "Walking Big & Tall" is the 13th episode of the show's 26th season.
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Elon Musk - The Simpsons

Elon Musk - The Simpsons

Famous Inventor Elon Musk guest stars on The Simpsons. "The Musk Who Fell to Earth" is the 12th episode of the show's 26th season.
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Homer Is Hypnotized - The Simpsons

Homer Is Hypnotized - The Simpsons

Homer is hypnotized while at the circus on The Simpsons. "Bart's New Friend" is the 11th episode of the show's 26th season.
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The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

The Monorail Song
Lyle Lanley: Y'know, a town with money is like a mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it!
(audience laughs)
Homer: Heh heh! Mule.
Lyle Lanley: The name's Lanley. Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest... Aw, it's not for you. It's more of a Shelbyville idea.
Mayor Quimby: Now wait just a minute! We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville! Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it!
Lyle Lanley: All right, I tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea! I give you the Springfield Monorail! (audience gasps) I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrooke, and by gum, it put them on the map!
Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Six-car
Monorail! ...
What'd I say?
Ned Flanders: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
Patty & Selma: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: That's right! Monorail!
(crowd chants "Monorail" softly and rhythmically)
Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud.
Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.
Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lyle Lanley: You'll all be given cushy jobs.
Grampa: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Chief Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.
Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear it's Springfield's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
All: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: Once again...
All: Monorail!
Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken!
Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken.
All: Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
Homer: Mono... D'oh!