Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Quotes (Page 3)

Season 5 Episode 18: "Animal Control"

Ann: For date of birth, you wrote 'spring time.'
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Boring is my middle name.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: Pop quiz. Name the scent.
Ben: Umm Spasm. No, Butterface!
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: More than one way to skin a cat.
Brad: There's four. Four ways to skin a cat!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 17: "Partridge"

Leslie: Ben Wyatt was the best thing that came out of this crap town.
 • Rating: Unrated

April: I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: May I say for the record that is a dope pocket square?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

April: His nickname around the office is Softypants McHuggable.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Donna: Wanna have a baby, Traeger? Your hair, my everything else. That baby would be unstoppable.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: Last year I won an organic gardening contest.
Donna: Who were you competing against?
Chris: My own taste buds.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: I can't believe they're finally giving me the key to the city.
Leslie: I can't believe it took so long. They gave the key to every other mayor in the city. And none of them had as cute a butt as you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: I'll represent myself as I do in all legal matters and livestock auctions.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

April: We should sue Jamm's parents for spawning a human turd burger.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 16: "Bailout"

Ron: I'll have number eight.
Waiter: That's a party platter.
Ron: I know what I am, son.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Thank you Mr. Swanson for your absurd opinion which you share with no one.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: You're a smart, successful young man with an adorable little belly.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ann: Before I write that letter, you have to spend the week doing everything I say.
April: So what, I have to be your slave or something?
Ann: No, you have to be my friend.
April: Ugh, that's so much worse.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: I think Mona Lisa's stealing from me!
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: I am 100 percent sure I am 0 percent sure of what to do.
 • Rating: Unrated

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