Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Quotes (Page 2)

Season 5 Episode 20: "Jerry's Scrapbook"

Tom: Ron, ask me if I'm sad.
Ron: No.
 • Rating: Unrated

Donna: Uhhhh...you're on fire.
 • Rating: Unrated

Donna: Andy will never be the new Jerry. Nothing embarrasses him. He is like a giant puppy with no shame.
 • Rating: Unrated

April: Torturing Jerry was my favorite thing in the world. Next to making out with you.
Andy: Remember when we did that at the same time? It made him so uncomfortable!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: Well, Jerry was never the type to rise above mediocrity. Or to it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: As much as we want this to happen, we can't just let Jerry disappear!
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Every memory deserves to be chronicled! Even the saggy ones.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 19: "Article Two"

April: It's my favorite kind of battle. Two men enter. One me leaves!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: One time my refrigerator stopped working and I had no idea what to do! I just moved!
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: I don't want to be overdramatic, but this is literally a battle for April's soul.
 • Rating: Unrated

April: My spirit blood is on your hands.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: First stop, Motivation Station!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ann: I keep getting outbid by someone called Tall Tyrion Lannister. What kind of name is that?
Donna: Are you kidding me? Tyrion Lannister? Lord of Casterly Rock? The Half Man? You don't watch Game of Thrones?
Ann: No, do you?
Donna: Hell, yeah! Have you seen those Dothraki dudes? They can get it! Everyone on that show can get it!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: Normally, if given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I'll do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I'd work all night if it meant that nothing got done.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 18: "Animal Control"

Ron: What's cholesterol?
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: Well, I think you have several options. They're all terrible. But they're options.
 • Rating: Unrated

Brad: Yo, my name is Brad. I like burgers and I am very high right now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dennis Feinstein: I don't like charity. Feels like I'm giving money away and getting nothing in return.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ann: How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week?
Ron: One.
Ann: That's it? One drink?
Ron: One shelf.
Ann: Do you exercise?
Ron: Yes. Lovemaking and woodworking.
Ann: Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?
Ron: I have an uncle who does yoga.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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