Tom: It's a whole documentary of my failures!
Lucy: That you made!

Jean-Ralphio, although I truly hope that I never see you again, I do wish you a long and happy life.


Ben: I have so many presents, it's weird!
Andy: Yes!! Oh, for the baby? Put 'em over there.

April: But in the end? Bringing a child into this world? That's disgusting!
Andy: Nooo, we'd wipe all the disgusting stuff right off it!

Babe, I want to put a babe in you babe.


Andy: I get to push the buttons! I call it!
April: He called it.
Leslie: Yeah I know.

All that coffee and legal marijuana has people wanting to buy houses quickly, and irrationally.


Haha, "Euro-trash," I like that. That is indeed a garbage continent.


Leslie: Why are you like this?
Jean-Ralphio: Pills, baby!

I'm gonna turn the "mayoral office" into "my oral office."

The Douche

Lucy, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to marry me.


His barber, butcher, and lover. I have lost one of them today.


Parks & Rec Quotes

Oh, uh, also, Mark. Again, we don't have those extra small condoms you ordered. I called the factory, i''s going to take a special order. Not just because of the size, but because of the weird shape as well. Something they've never dealt with before.


Ben: Newspaper headline was "Ice Town costs ice clown his town crown."
Leslie: Yuck.
Ben: They were big into rhymes.