Creativity is for people with glasses who like to lie.

Ron

Tell him it's Count Chocula. Wait, no, sorry it's Andy Dwyer

Andy

Itineraries aren't the right place to mess around!

Leslie

To me! I own two restaurants, as well as several other properties. As long as we're celebrating.

Tom

Ben: I'm Ben Wyatt and I'm running for Congress.
Leslie: That was so hot.

Ben: You have an opinion on pockets!
Leslie: Yes! I think they should all be bigger!

Ron does this weird thing where he says exactly what he means. Just ignore him.

Tom

Michelle we were best friends since high school, except when you stop talking to me because you thought your boyfriend was into me. He was.

Donna

You guys are gonna fit in so well in Washington. Most of Congress is drunk all of the time.

Jen

Ben: You're my sexy roommate, we love each other!
Leslie: Whoo! That's me!

Leslie: Now remember, you're in campaign mode. Your goal is to act like everyone is interesting and important.
Jerry: Hey guys!
Leslie: Nope, too hard.

Ron: Tom is quite taken with you.
Lucy: He's taken with me, huh?
Ron: He said he'd marry you tomorrow.

Parks & Rec Quotes

April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.

Andy

Sometimes when you make an omelet you've gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative? No omelets at all? Who wants to live in that kind of world? Maybe birds. Then all their babies would live.

Leslie