Look at me, having sex with a pig! I've become my father!

Stewie

• Permalink: Look at me, having sex with a pig! I've become my father!
• Added: October 14, 2009

Jasper: You like sex in the city?
Brian: I don't watch that show.
Jasper: I wasn't talking about the show. Ooh, I'm nasty! (Imitates foghorn) Someone put me out to sea!

• Permalink: You like sex in the city? I don't watch that show. I wasn't ...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up

Brian

• Permalink: Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more shut th...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Meg: Wow, Brian! Have you lost weight? You gotta tell me your secret!
Brian: Here's a hint: Put down the fork!

• Permalink: Wow, Brian! Have you lost weight? You gotta tell me your secret!...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Brian, it's moments like this that make me sad you're gonna die fifty years before I do

Peter

• Permalink: Brian, it's moments like this that make me sad you're gonna die ...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Rehab Counselor: I don't think you're an addict, I think you're an idiot.
Peter: Yeah, well I don't pay you to think, hot lips, in fact, I don't pay you at all...

• Permalink: I don't think you're an addict, I think you're an idiot. Yeah,...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Brian: What are you doing here [at rehab]?
Peter: I'm on vacation. Oh, and if anyone asks, I'm also on smack

• Permalink: What are you doing here ? I'm on vacation. Oh, and if anyone a...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Chris: Hey dad, I heard if you use tanning beds, you can get something called "Melanoma."
Peter: Oh, Chris, that's just fancy-talk for Sexified

• Permalink: Hey dad, I heard if you use tanning beds, you can get something ...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Brian: The real hero here is God: for blessing me with this nose, and a few other amazing appendages!

• Permalink: For blessing me with this nose, and a few other amazing appendag...
• Added: October 14, 2009

I'm not being insensitive, Lois. I just don't see why we have to cancel our vacation, just because the dog's a coke-fiend

Peter

• Permalink: I'm <b>not</b> being insensitive, Lois. I just don't see why we ...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Joe: Nice work, rookie!
Cop #1: You're a credit to the force!
Cop #2: Additional generic cop compliment, Brian

• Permalink: Nice work, rookie! You're a credit to the force! Additional ...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Joe: Say hello to our newest narc.
Quagmire: Oh, yeah? (to Brian) How good are you?
Brian: (Sniffs) You're back from Manila. You had lumpia for dinner. Then you made love to two Filipino women. (Sniffs) And a man.
Quagmire: You mean three Filipino women. (Brian stares blankly) NOOOOO!

• Permalink: Say hello to our newest narc. Oh, yeah? (to Brian) How good ar...
• Added: October 14, 2009