Joel McHale Quotes
Britta: When's the graduation ceremony?
Jeff: Never. It's community college. You send in some papers and they stop charging you.
Well, it's official--it's on a banner.Jeff
Annie, why are you acting like a mistress in a Lifetime movie?Jeff
I've spent almost four years here, growing and changing and making dioramas.Jeff
Abed, we don't have origin stories, we have lives. At least...yup, just me.Jeff
Dean Pelton: Which is to say that having Jeffrey inside of me-
Jeff: No one was inside of anyone!
Dean Pelton: -was wrong. To have Jeffrey inside of me.
Shirley: Is this a bad time?
Dean Pelton (speaking as Jeff): I'm at Greendale, stuck in the body of a man who could be Gollum, so yeah, I'd say it's half past suck.
Maintenance Guy: Sorry, routine light switch check.
Jeff: That is not a thing!
Pierce: What do you want me to do?
Jeff: Stay alive...or don't!
Pierce: I'm on it!
Britta: So you just left your section blank.
Jeff: No, of course not! I copied and pasted the lyrics to "War (What Is It Good For)."
Jeff: It's Macallan 18. I like to serve it neat, if that's okay with you.
Professor Cornwallis: What, in America? Don't you mix it with cherry pop or Monterey Jack cheese?