Community

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You ruined Christmas dinner so that you could be crowned the smartest person at the dumbest school?

Jeff

So this is how Greendale graduates end up--as transient mountain men. Not as bad as I thought.

Jeff

As someone who faked being a lawyer for seven years, I appreciate your commitment to the bit.

Jeff

Hey Britta, where's Sophie B.? Is she backstage, drinking Zima and counting out Beanie Babies?

Jeff

I'm gonna go get a sandwich, which, unlike "changnesia," is real.

Jeff

I am not well-adjusted. More often than not, I am barely keeping it together. I am constantly texting...and there is no one at the other end.

Jeff

William: So, how about we make a couple of ground rules.
Jeff: Actually, that sounds good. Okay, no hugs.
William: Wouldn't want one. No apologies.
Jeff: Wouldn't accept one.

Britta: Psychology tells us there are no accidents.
Jeff: What about car accidents, Tara Reid, or the Hindenburg?

Jeff: I thought I told you to stop reading my emails.
Dean Pelton: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!

Damn them and their perfectly crafted time pieces!

Jeff

I thought this was America, not Arizona.

Jeff

Carl, I see you've grown a new douchebag.

Jeff
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 38 in total

Community Quotes

Troy: I think I'm failing psychopharmacology.
Britta: Why are you taking that?
Troy: I thought it was a class about crazy farm animals.

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]