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Community

William: So, how about we make a couple of ground rules.
Jeff: Actually, that sounds good. Okay, no hugs.
William: Wouldn't want one. No apologies.
Jeff: Wouldn't accept one.

Britta: Psychology tells us there are no accidents.
Jeff: What about car accidents, Tara Reid, or the Hindenburg?

Jeff: I thought I told you to stop reading my emails.
Dean Pelton: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!

Damn them and their perfectly crafted time pieces!

Jeff

I thought this was America, not Arizona.

Jeff

Carl, I see you've grown a new douchebag.

Jeff

Quick impression--waaaa. Who am I? You guys.

Jeff

Britta: Jeff, why are people staring at you?
Jeff: Because they've never seen a man who's had sex before?

Pierce: If you knew what spooked me, you'd probably call me crazy and old.
Jeff: No one's going to call you, Pierce.

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