Peter: So what do you do for fun around here? You got DirectTV?
Putin: We have Time-Warner.
Peter: You have HBO?
Putin: We have Starz.
Peter: You have ESPN?
Putin: We have FOX Sports 1.
Peter: That come in HD?
Putin: 420D.
Peter: You got --
Putin: Everything you say, I say something little bit worse.
Peter: You got Simpsons?
Putin: We have Family Guy.
Peter: Ah. I did it to myself.

• Permalink: Ah. I did it to myself.
• Added: November 19, 2017

Russia has all the hottest and ugliest women in the world. All 10's and 1's.

Peter

• Permalink: Russia has all the hottest and ugliest women in the world. All 10's and 1's.
• Added: November 19, 2017

Peter: How do you say friend in Russian?
Putin: There is no Russian word for it.

• Permalink: There is no Russian word for it.
• Added: November 19, 2017

Vladmir Putin: Where is bathroom? I George Brett myself on plane.
Peter: Eww. Gross.

• Permalink: Eww. Gross.
• Added: November 19, 2017