It goes to show that everything you want in life you get. And you can't work for it. It just comes to you.

Michael: I just miss you so much.
Holly: I missed you too.
Michael: Really?
Holly: Yeah.
Michael: Can I kiss you?
Holly: Yeah.

I'm upset. My bladder is full. There is no telling what I might do right now, all over the inside of your precious little car.

Why does the Sun rise in the morning? Why do magnets stick together? Because everybody says so. Everybody.

Holly: Is Mikanos Greek? He sounds Italian.
Michael: Ugh, you're the fifth person to tell me that today.

Holly broke up with AJ last week, which is the greatest thing that has ever happened...to me. To Holly, it's been the worst week of her life, and I know for a fact that there was a week for her in high school where she got mono and her first period ever. Too much information? That's what I thought, but here I am using it.

Michael: You're gonna somersault around for the rest of you life, and you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser.
Creed: My tombstone's already been made, thank you.

Erin: Gummy bears and gummy worms?
Michael: Bears sad, worms happy... come on, Erin.

If she's engaged, I'm going to go crazy, and I'm going to start attacking people. If she's not engaged, in all honesty, I might just burn this whole place down to the ground out of happiness. Either way I am going to need some talking down, and nobody talks me down like myself in a video talking me down.

Darryl: I told her Santa would be here.
Michael: Yeah well I was told Holly would be here, single and ready to date, and we all got misled.
Pam: Who told you that?
Michael: Nora Ephron...in every romantic comedy ever made.

Michael: You know who my favorite character in Toy Story is? Andy's mom.
Holly: Why?
Michael: Because without Andy's mom there's no plot, and without any plot there is no movie.

There is nothing classier than boring jazz music...I am here to tell ya.

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael