You've been on the road a long time, and you've been an outdoor cat. And now you have to be an indoor cat, so you can't be peeing all over the walls.

Michael: Just so you know. He's at his funniest when you give him like five shots. And it also helps if you've had five shots.
Holly: I already have.

Michae: Angela loves pussycats, Packer loves...
Angela: Don't!
Michael: I was going to say dogs!

I would like to introduce you to a man who needs no introduction, probably because most of you have DONE IT WITH HIM. Just kidding. He wouldn't be interested in any of you.

We can't just sit around waiting for Creed to die.

Goldenface: Sorry about your friend, Scarn.
Michael Scarn: The joke's on you, Goldenface. That man's a wanted animal rapist.

Holly: I'm sorry, it is good.
Michael: No, it's not. It's not, but they really seem to be enjoying it.

I am a huge Woody Allen fan, although I've only seen Antz.

Michael: I have my book on business, Somehow I Manage. I have my HBO comedy special, Here I Go Again...But you know what? When I think about it, when I really think about it, none of those things are as real to me as my movie.
Holly: I'm real.
Michael: Yeahhh, you're a real pain in the ass.

Holly this isn't Ocean's Eleven where you get together with your friends and you just have fun and you don't care about how it turns out.

You jump to the right and you shake a hand, then you jump to the left and you shake their hand. You meet new friends and you tie some yarn. And that's how you do the Scarn.

It's gonna take a lot more than a bullet to the brain, lungs, heart, back and balls to kill Michael Scarn.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 1014 in total

The Office Quotes

Robert: You want a three and a half day weekend for Columbus Day?
Andy: Yes I do.
Robert: And you are aware Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans?
Andy: I don't care.

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy
× Close Ad