Hey Goldenface! Go puck yourself!

Looks like there's gonna be a clean up on aisle five.

Heads I do it. Tails I don't. Best out of seven.

After three years of writing, one year of shooting, four years of re-shooting, and two years of editing, I have finally completed my movie...Threat Level Midnight.

Michael: Holly and I are moving in together. Oscar this must be tough for you, watching this go down. You could not stand in the way of true love my friend.
Oscar: Are you kidding? I wasn't trying to break you guys up.
Kevin: Better luck next time pal!

Michael: Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or go against type with an Eisenberg or Michael Cera.
Dwight: Movie idea?
Michael: Noooo...Saving the world has never been this hard.

Yeah, whatever. No big deal. The hottest girl in the world loves me.

Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet and this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

I don't sit on your lap because it's comfortable. I sit on your lap because I like the way your thighs feel on my butt.

Dwight: And what is the hookup zone policy on masturbation?
Michael: Pro.

No more pda. You win. But here's what we are gonna do. We are going to designate one of our closets as a hook up zone. Anything goes.

Whispering and tickling have their place in business.

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy