Hey Goldenface! Go puck yourself!

Looks like there's gonna be a clean up on aisle five.

Heads I do it. Tails I don't. Best out of seven.

After three years of writing, one year of shooting, four years of re-shooting, and two years of editing, I have finally completed my movie...Threat Level Midnight.

Michael: Holly and I are moving in together. Oscar this must be tough for you, watching this go down. You could not stand in the way of true love my friend.
Oscar: Are you kidding? I wasn't trying to break you guys up.
Kevin: Better luck next time pal!

Michael: Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or go against type with an Eisenberg or Michael Cera.
Dwight: Movie idea?
Michael: Noooo...Saving the world has never been this hard.

Yeah, whatever. No big deal. The hottest girl in the world loves me.

Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet and this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

I don't sit on your lap because it's comfortable. I sit on your lap because I like the way your thighs feel on my butt.

Dwight: And what is the hookup zone policy on masturbation?
Michael: Pro.

No more pda. You win. But here's what we are gonna do. We are going to designate one of our closets as a hook up zone. Anything goes.

Whispering and tickling have their place in business.

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.

Andy