Hey Goldenface! Go puck yourself!

Looks like there's gonna be a clean up on aisle five.

Heads I do it. Tails I don't. Best out of seven.

After three years of writing, one year of shooting, four years of re-shooting, and two years of editing, I have finally completed my movie...Threat Level Midnight.

Michael: Holly and I are moving in together. Oscar this must be tough for you, watching this go down. You could not stand in the way of true love my friend.
Oscar: Are you kidding? I wasn't trying to break you guys up.
Kevin: Better luck next time pal!

Michael: Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or go against type with an Eisenberg or Michael Cera.
Dwight: Movie idea?
Michael: Noooo...Saving the world has never been this hard.

Yeah, whatever. No big deal. The hottest girl in the world loves me.

Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet and this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

I don't sit on your lap because it's comfortable. I sit on your lap because I like the way your thighs feel on my butt.

Dwight: And what is the hookup zone policy on masturbation?
Michael: Pro.

No more pda. You win. But here's what we are gonna do. We are going to designate one of our closets as a hook up zone. Anything goes.

Whispering and tickling have their place in business.

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael