Hey Goldenface! Go puck yourself!

Looks like there's gonna be a clean up on aisle five.

Heads I do it. Tails I don't. Best out of seven.

After three years of writing, one year of shooting, four years of re-shooting, and two years of editing, I have finally completed my movie...Threat Level Midnight.

Michael: Holly and I are moving in together. Oscar this must be tough for you, watching this go down. You could not stand in the way of true love my friend.
Oscar: Are you kidding? I wasn't trying to break you guys up.
Kevin: Better luck next time pal!

Michael: Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or go against type with an Eisenberg or Michael Cera.
Dwight: Movie idea?
Michael: Noooo...Saving the world has never been this hard.

Yeah, whatever. No big deal. The hottest girl in the world loves me.

Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet and this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

I don't sit on your lap because it's comfortable. I sit on your lap because I like the way your thighs feel on my butt.

Dwight: And what is the hookup zone policy on masturbation?
Michael: Pro.

No more pda. You win. But here's what we are gonna do. We are going to designate one of our closets as a hook up zone. Anything goes.

Whispering and tickling have their place in business.

The Office Quotes

A little cover up on your adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.

Michael (to Gabe)

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael