Bree: There were two dozen cookies on that plate.
Gaby: Yeah, you can't leave food out. They're like bears - you've gonna have to to tie it up in a tree.

You are lucky. You got a kidney transplant. And if you take anymore of my money, you're going to need a face transplant.

Gaby

Renee: Look, I will never forget what my mother did. I think about it every day, but I refuse to let it be what defines me. This spring fling might seem shallow and insensitive to you, but it's my way of saying I choose life over death. So, now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to my lame ass party.
Gaby: Wait. It's not a lame ass party anymore because I'm here now.

Mrs. McCluskey: You're still having that thing? A woman's on life support.
Gaby: Exactly. She's not dead. It's like you're making my argument for me.
Mrs. McCluskey: Put Roy and me down for a no, but please call us when you have your Hurricane Katrina pool party.

SURPRISE! What?! What are you supposed to say when someone gets an organ? KIDNEY!

Gaby

Gaby: That girl's so good at the violin, she's practically Asian.
Carlos: So, that's what this is about... you're competing with Bob and Lee.
Gaby: Pfft. That's ridiculous. This is about Juanita. I'm building her self esteem and giving her a chance to shine. And if a couple of same-sex parents end up crying at home in their silk kimonos, so be it.

Lee: Well, this should be interesting. Two different parenting philosophies and a talent show to prove which one of us is right in front of hundreds of people.
Gabby: Yes, will it be the overbearing hypocritical father or the loving mom who still looks hot in these sweats?
Lee: Game on.

He's not going to give up these chimichangas, for a plate of frank and beans.

Gaby [on Carlos]

You're either going as a dog or a little Mexican girl. And in this neighborhood, we both know which one's getting more candy!

Gaby [to Juanita]

Renee: I feel like you get me, Gaby. And you know why? Because we're both extremely beautiful.
Gaby: God bless you for having the courage to say that.
Renee: Only someone who looks like us can understand what a burden it can be.
Gaby: Actually, it's pretty awesome!

There's this one thing that she did that was incredibly moving. She came up to me, and within two seconds of touching my bag, she knew it was expensive.

Gaby

I know it's hard to believe that the little acorn gave birth to the mighty oak, but believe me, I did.

Gaby

Desperate Housewives Quotes

Dr. Barr: Hey there. I was surprised to hear you wanted a session.
Bree: Well, there's nothing like being tied to a bed to change a girl's mind.
Dr. Barr: What do you wanna talk about?
Bree: Anything at all. As you said, I...I have a lot of issues.
Dr. Barr: Well, I assumed as much when you told the ridiculous story about your daughter running off with a murderer.
Bree: Saw right through that, did ya?
Dr. Barr: Well, I'm a trained professional, Bree. The human mind is my playground.
Bree: Well, I'm glad that you're having fun.

(to dead body) "Tu me manques, Monique" ("I Miss You Monique").

Orson