Mrs. McCluskey: Gaby, those kids of yours are turning into serial killers before our very eyes.
Gaby: Okay, I'm not going to argue with you because you're sick and totally correct.

I'm always getting my Mexicans confused, which I'm allowed to do because I'm Mexican.

Gaby

My husband's an alcoholic so I can only drink at work.

Gaby

Gaby: You can't dress for church if you want to move the 'merch. You gotta shake the rear to make them buy the gear. You wanna sell some knits, you gotta flash the...
Carlos: Gaby! I got it.

She also has the right to remain horny.

 

Gaby

Do me a favor and wait until I leave to restock the books. I can't cry again today.

Gaby

Carlos: Hey babe, I'm in the middle of something.
Gaby: Obviously not shaving or putting on deodorant. You look like a terrorist.

It's like royal wedding with a hint of slut.

Gaby

You better watch. This phone has a whoop-ass app.

Gaby

Juanita: First, kissing. Then, get married. Then, he buys me presents.
Gaby: Oh my God, you are my daughter.
Gaby: Wow. Booze, loose morals, and swearing? Too bad, there's no more Bree left.

Bree: I don't like your accusatory tone.
Gaby: Well, I'd use a different tone, but I'm trying to accuse you of something.

It's a cop funeral. What do you expect... clowns?

Gaby

Desperate Housewives Quotes

There is a prayer intended to give strength to people faced with circumstances they don't want to accept. The power of the prayer comes from it's insight into human nature. Because so many of us rage against the hand that life has dealt us. Because so many of us are cowardly. And afraid to stand up for what is right. Because so many of us give into despair when faced with an impossible choice. The good news for those who utter these words is that God will hear you and answer your prayer. The bad news is that sometimes the answer is no.

Mary Alice

I love you once. I love you twice. I love you more than beans and rice.

Mike