No one calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw!


I'm sorry, coffee's out of the question. When I moved to California I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.


There once was a brave lad named Leonard, with a fie fie fiddle dee dee. He faced a fearsome giant while Raj just wanted to pee.

Sheldon (singing)

Wolowitx: You think you can put up with Sheldon?
Raj: Well I'm a hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life, we're rewarded in the next. Three months in the north pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well hung billionaire with wings

Leonard [about snuggie gift]: what does this mean?
Penny: Wine, credit cards and late night television are a bad combination

But if we were part of the team that confirmed string theory, we could drink for free in any bar in any college town with a university that has a strong science program!


Wolowitz: Just imagine ... if he says yes, we'll have an entire summer without Sheldon.
Raj: We could play outside.
Wolowitz: We could sit on the left side of the couch.
Leonard: I could use the bathroom at 8:20!
Raj: Our dreams are very small, aren't they?

Sheldon: It must be an emergency; everyone at the university knows that I eat my breakfast at 8 and move my bowels at 8:20
Leonard: Yes, how did we live before Twitter?

Wolowitz: This is the thing from the pizza box that keeps the lid from touching the cheese.
Raj: Is that what this is for? In India, the lid just touches the cheese. Of course, we also have rampant poverty and periodic outbreaks of chlorea so a little cardboard on our cheese is no biggie

Sheldon: Why does Leonard get to go?
Wolowitz: Because he's upset over his situation with Penny, and if I have to hear about it again, I'm gonna kick him in his ovaries

If you really want to clean up your Karma, go get my fricking latte

Raj [to Leonard]

I have to say I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition. Apparently there is no law of diminished comedic returns when it comes to space poop


The Big Bang Theory Season 2 Quotes

Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to degradation
Stuart: It's a little wrong to say to say a tomato is a vegetable, it's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge

I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion