Does it get any funnier than The Big Bang Theory quotes? There's a reason why this is the highest rated sitcom on television. And that has a lot to do with these Big Bang Theory quotes.

Bernadette: Howard, you're grown men. You guys don't have to do everything together.
Howard: I know, that's why I'm spending tonight with you.

Penny: [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon!
Sheldon: I bet that started off as a joke, but by the third one, you realized there was something strangely enjoyable about it.
Penny: Yeah, I kind of want to do it again.
Sheldon: I don't recommend it, you'll be doing it the rest of your life.

Just this morning, Sheldon wouldn't let me put almond milk in my Grape Nuts because he said it was a theoretical nut conflict.

Leonard

Sheldon: [singing] The itsy bitsy spider is not an insect at all. Because it has eight legs and two body parts.
Leonard: That’s pretty cool, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Thank you. Do either of you know Beyonce? I’d love her to get behind it.

Wil Wheaton: Leonard, a moment ago, you were dead set against Penny resuming her acting career, but now you're all for it. Is it fair to say she played you like a violin?
Leonard: Yes it is, Wil.

Amy: Is this how the rest of the night's gonna be?
Sheldon: I don't know the future.

Penny: What?! A few thousand people listen to you talk about nerd stuff?
Wil Wheaton: Again, right in the ears, straight to the feelings.

What if he's in prison? What if he's a spy? What if he's in a Beatles cover band? I'm just saying if he's got your nose and haircut, he'd make a killer Ringo.

Raj

Sheldon: I'll give you three guesses why I'm so irritated.
Howard: Something happened different from the way you wanted it.
Sheldon: I guess news travels fast.

Sheldon: Is that the attitude to helped you get Penny?
Leonard: No, but I don't have three years to make that gate feel sorry for me.

Bernadette: Leonard makes you watch that [Game of Thrones] too?
Penny: No, no. I like that show. It's got dragons and people doing it.

Sheldon: Play that funky music, white boy!
Leonard: I'm surprised you know that reference.
Sheldon: What reference?

Our section of The Big Bang Theory quotes covers pretty much everything Penny, Leonard, Sheldon and company has ever said. We review this sitcom on a weekly basis and we update our rundown of The Big Bang Theory quotes accordingly. You can - nay, you should! - review these one-liners and quotes on a weekly basis in order to stay current and in order to laugh. You do want to laugh, don't you? Good. We thought so. That's why we pride ourselves on being the top sources for The Bang Theory quotes on the entire World Wide Web.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Raj: Well, to paraphrase Shakespeare: It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography.
Penny: Oh... you poor baby.
Raj: What's wrong with me, Penny?
Penny: Nothing, nothing. You know, if we weren't friends - and you hadn't brought up that creepy pornography story - I'd be on you like the speed of light squared on matter to make energy.
Raj: Hey, you totally got that right. E = MC squared.
Penny: I listen. I have no idea what it means, but I listen.