Does it get any funnier than The Big Bang Theory quotes? There's a reason why this is the highest rated sitcom on television. And that has a lot to do with these Big Bang Theory quotes.

Now while you scold us, I'm going to get a knife and fork. Joe may be sloppy, but Sheldon's not.

Sheldon

I don't know. I am her precious little boy, and you did take my flower.

Sheldon

It was fine, other than the weird tasting juice Amy gave me. I slept the whole way.

Sheldon

Good Lord, is that mistletoe? Do you maniacs not own a calendar?

Sheldon

Oh you know, the Lone Star state, that should be its yelp rating.

Sheldon

I thought I'd let Harry Potter... make things hotter.

Amy

I'm not sure. Earlier tonight things began organically and now it's feeling forced... like all the Pirate's of the Caribbean sequels.

Sheldon

Raj: Don't come to the hospital. We're headed home.
Penny: Well, that was fast. Did she sneeze the baby out?

Childbirth, looming coitis. This is a banner night for female genitals!

Sheldon

Sheldon: This is for you. I was going to wrap it but touching Scotch tape gives me the heebie jeebies.
Amy: I'll put it on the list with peaches and felt.

He's expecting a newspaper in the morning. Apparently, they still make them.

Sheldon

Hey, this pregnancy had an emotionally needy third wheel way before you came along.

Raj
Our section of The Big Bang Theory quotes covers pretty much everything Penny, Leonard, Sheldon and company has ever said. We review this sitcom on a weekly basis and we update our rundown of The Big Bang Theory quotes accordingly. You can - nay, you should! - review these one-liners and quotes on a weekly basis in order to stay current and in order to laugh. You do want to laugh, don't you? Good. We thought so. That's why we pride ourselves on being the top sources for The Bang Theory quotes on the entire World Wide Web.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors

Sheldon