Jay: I won't be able to hear her, she won't be able to see me.
Gloria: Well be together forever!

• Permalink: I won't be able to hear her, she won't be able to see me. Well...
• Added: October 09, 2013

Well there was this girl on the 16-year-old team who wasn't wearing a bra, so that was cool.

Luke

• Permalink: Well there was this girl on the 16-year-old team who wasn't wear...
• Added: October 09, 2013

Phil: The universe punished me. I did something awful to a bunch of baby crows.
Manny: Actually it's not a bunch of crows, it's called a murder.
Phil: I know what I did!

• Permalink: The universe punished me. I did something awful to a bunch of ba...
• Added: October 09, 2013

Would you believe she said I'm the emotionally fragile one? I mean how crazy is that!

Cam

• Permalink: Would you believe she said I'm the emotionally fragile one? I me...
• Added: October 09, 2013

Everyone knows you're not farm strong!

Pam [to Cam]

• Permalink: Everyone knows you're not farm strong!
• Added: October 09, 2013

You'd rather kill your husband than admit you need glasses?

Jay

• Permalink: You'd rather kill your husband than admit you need glasses?
• Added: October 09, 2013

Alex: Ok, that's it Grandpa's cheating.
Haley: On Gloria? How could he possibly do better?

• Permalink: Ok, that's it Grandpa's cheating. On Gloria? How could he poss...
• Added: October 09, 2013

Haley: Shouldn't she be playing Words with Friends with friends?
Alex: Grandpa is my friend.
Haley: Of course he is. That's not sad

• Permalink: Shouldn't she be playing Words with Friends with friends? Gran...
• Added: October 09, 2013

She can be meaner than a barn owl at sunset.

Cam

• Permalink: She can be meaner than a barn owl at sunset.
• Added: October 09, 2013

Phil: Remember before we had kids and could just lie in bed all Saturday?
Claire: That's how we got them.
Phil: Why did I have to be so sexy?

• Permalink: Remember before we had kids and could just lie in bed all Saturd...
• Added: October 09, 2013