Nobody solves things through tennis matches anymore bro; it's not the 80s.

Brad

Max you look like John McEnroe's fat cousin, John Mac n Cheese.

Jane

We were gonna tag along with you guys to that bris. Alex had never been to one and I don't remember my first two. Of course the second one was less of a religious ceremony and more of a horrific jet skiing accident.

Max

I was gonna tell them we were going horseback riding, but I was afraid it would come out that I ride side saddle.

Brad

Max: I wouldn't say we spend that much time together, I mean just breakfast 4 or 5 times a week before work.
Dave: And drinks during the day most days, not everyday but definitely every evening.
Penny: And sure we always deliver news in person.

What are we gonna do with this big group tomorrow? A little 4 on 4 hoops, maybe an 8 person party bike, a Chinese New Year dragon?

Max

You are great together, Jay and Bey great.

Penny

Tampa is not a place you go it's a place you end up.

Dave

Well, as the author of several dozen cries for help I know a good one when I hear one.

Penny

Max: What are all those red arrows for?
Jane: Oh, those are all the areas that need improvements.
Max: But those are all of them.
Jane: Yeah, you've got lots of bad areas. You're like the Oakland of gay guys.

So cute, Penny. You should take him to Bone Town - you know, that rib joint on Holstead? I love that place.

Alex

Uh, Dave welcome to the 31st century.

Alex
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 330 in total

Happy Endings Quotes

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]

The weird part is, now that I have a guy, everybody wants to set me up. Oh I know Al! I should hook you up with one of my "extras."

Penny
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