We need a button that switches from pornography to basketball immediately. What you have isn't fast enough.

You have to talk to Jack. I can't lose my dental. There's a hygienist their whose boob sometimes touches my ear.

You got sauce on me. Ya know, neighbors who wear my exact size don't die every day!

I'm guessing already married cat strangler.

Tiana, Mulan, Pocahantas, Jasmine — wow, she's right!

It's way too early for this. I haven't even had my first cup of wine yet.

While you were talking, I put a thumb tack in my neck. Makes me feel something.

Also, there is no internet or Spectravision in the hotel rooms, so plan ahead gentlemen. Porn-wise.

Florida ... I can rent a convertible, you can complain about the heat with elderly people.

[to Danny] Why didn't you tell me? I had Tracy playing Josh Groban last week!

[to Liz] OK, smile ... with your mouth ... wave ... like a human being!

Pete: Happy?
Liz: No, not since I was a child.

30 Rock Quotes

Jenna: Jack, can we talk, one ten to another?
Jack: I'm an eleven, but continue.

Tracy: The Black Crusaders are a secret group of powerful Black Americans. Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey are the chief majors, but Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell and Gordon from Sesame Street, they're members, too, and they meet four times a year in the skull of the Statue of Liberty. You can read about that on the Interweb.
Liz: Ah, well, it must be true if it's on the "Interweb."