We need a button that switches from pornography to basketball immediately. What you have isn't fast enough.

You have to talk to Jack. I can't lose my dental. There's a hygienist their whose boob sometimes touches my ear.

You got sauce on me. Ya know, neighbors who wear my exact size don't die every day!

I'm guessing already married cat strangler.

Tiana, Mulan, Pocahantas, Jasmine — wow, she's right!

It's way too early for this. I haven't even had my first cup of wine yet.

While you were talking, I put a thumb tack in my neck. Makes me feel something.

Also, there is no internet or Spectravision in the hotel rooms, so plan ahead gentlemen. Porn-wise.

Florida ... I can rent a convertible, you can complain about the heat with elderly people.

[to Danny] Why didn't you tell me? I had Tracy playing Josh Groban last week!

[to Liz] OK, smile ... with your mouth ... wave ... like a human being!

Pete: Happy?
Liz: No, not since I was a child.

30 Rock Quotes

Jenna: Oh, I'm not worried because I have something the other actors don't.
Liz: Don't say your sexuality.
Jenna: My sexuality.
Liz: Oh, god, Jenna! When has that ever worked?
Jenna: When has it not worked?!

Passing out and cursing on St. Patrick's Day. Is nothing sacred anymore?