We need a button that switches from pornography to basketball immediately. What you have isn't fast enough.

You have to talk to Jack. I can't lose my dental. There's a hygienist their whose boob sometimes touches my ear.

You got sauce on me. Ya know, neighbors who wear my exact size don't die every day!

I'm guessing already married cat strangler.

Tiana, Mulan, Pocahantas, Jasmine — wow, she's right!

It's way too early for this. I haven't even had my first cup of wine yet.

While you were talking, I put a thumb tack in my neck. Makes me feel something.

Also, there is no internet or Spectravision in the hotel rooms, so plan ahead gentlemen. Porn-wise.

Florida ... I can rent a convertible, you can complain about the heat with elderly people.

[to Danny] Why didn't you tell me? I had Tracy playing Josh Groban last week!

[to Liz] OK, smile ... with your mouth ... wave ... like a human being!

Pete: Happy?
Liz: No, not since I was a child.

30 Rock Quotes

Don Geiss: If you're watching this, you are an executive of the General Electric Corporation, and the unthinkable has happened. Capitalism is ending, either because of the Soviets or something ridiculous, like a woman President. I'm speaking to you from the year 1987, but the message is timeless: Avoid The Noid!

Liz Lemon is a Judas to all womankind.

Abby Flynn