The more people you add, the less effective it is. Like a neighborhood dad garage band.

Liz: No one can find out about this ...
Cerie: Find out about what?
Liz: Pete's stealing money!
Pete: Liz's uterus fell out!
Cerie: I think I already knew that.

Another actor? Why? They have so many feelings and opinions!

[on what the crew holds back from Liz] Farts, for one thing.

Jack: Jenna's Dead.
Pete: I don't feel anything. What is wrong with me?

It's a massacre! I can't go back to teaching high school math. Those girls pretend they're not women, but they are.

Kenneth: But why would you want to cut your hair? You look exactly as I imagine Mary Magadalene to be.
Jenna: Thank you, but I am a selfless person who can't get arrested in this town!
Pete: I already explained that: that was a police sketch of a flasher who happened to look like Tracy... we hope.

[to Liz] Donuts and bed? What are you depressed about, or celebrating?

Hey, can I borrow sixty bucks? I'm going to meet Frank and Lutz at Scores.

Jenna: You know, I have to admit, I kinda like that Tracy Jordan is no longer the only movie star on TGS. Maybe I'll finally start getting some respect around here.
Frank: What's up, flabby butt? You look weird today... Hey Pete, you want to see a comic book with pregnant zombie nuns?
Pete: Yes, I do.

Frank: Hey, uh, you got anything about being a dad? People eat that garbage up.
Tracy: I like to walk around my house naked, to remind my oldest son who's still got the biggest ding-dong.
Pete: No
Tracy: Or I could tell the story of how I met Sharon Stone.
Pete: What was that?
Tracy: I was pooping in the ladies' room at The Ivy-
Pete: No.

Tracy: I have to be charming on Conan tonight. This is my chance to redeem myself with mainstream America.
Toofer: Okay, well. Just tell us some things about your life, and we'll try to punch it up and make it talk show-worthy.
Pete: Maybe something about you and your wife.
Tracy: Me and my wife like to play rape. She go in the bathroom
and do her hair. Then, I'll put on a ski mask...

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 46 in total

30 Rock Quotes

Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

Jack

There are no bad ideas Lemon, only great ideas that go horribly wrong.

Jack
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