[on what the crew holds back from Liz] Farts, for one thing.

Jack: Jenna's Dead.
Pete: I don't feel anything. What is wrong with me?

It's a massacre! I can't go back to teaching high school math. Those girls pretend they're not women, but they are.

Kenneth: But why would you want to cut your hair? You look exactly as I imagine Mary Magadalene to be.
Jenna: Thank you, but I am a selfless person who can't get arrested in this town!
Pete: I already explained that: that was a police sketch of a flasher who happened to look like Tracy... we hope.

[to Liz] Donuts and bed? What are you depressed about, or celebrating?

Hey, can I borrow sixty bucks? I'm going to meet Frank and Lutz at Scores.

Jenna: You know, I have to admit, I kinda like that Tracy Jordan is no longer the only movie star on TGS. Maybe I'll finally start getting some respect around here.
Frank: What's up, flabby butt? You look weird today... Hey Pete, you want to see a comic book with pregnant zombie nuns?
Pete: Yes, I do.

Frank: Hey, uh, you got anything about being a dad? People eat that garbage up.
Tracy: I like to walk around my house naked, to remind my oldest son who's still got the biggest ding-dong.
Pete: No
Tracy: Or I could tell the story of how I met Sharon Stone.
Pete: What was that?
Tracy: I was pooping in the ladies' room at The Ivy-
Pete: No.

Tracy: I have to be charming on Conan tonight. This is my chance to redeem myself with mainstream America.
Toofer: Okay, well. Just tell us some things about your life, and we'll try to punch it up and make it talk show-worthy.
Pete: Maybe something about you and your wife.
Tracy: Me and my wife like to play rape. She go in the bathroom
and do her hair. Then, I'll put on a ski mask...

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