Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family guy
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Joe Swanson is Peter's handicapable, suoer macho friend and neighbor on Family Guy.  Joe is voiced by the always fantastic Patrick Warburton.

Joe is married to the constantly pregnant Bonnie until she eventually popped out Susie.  His son, Kevin, was killed in Iraq.

Joe Swanson Quotes

Peter: What kind of talk is that? It's un-American! Did George W. Bush quit even after losing the popular vote? No! Did he quit after losing millions of his father's friend's money in failed oil companies? No! Did he quit after knocking that girl up? No! Did he quit after he got that DUI? No! Did he quit after gettin' arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct at a football game? No! Did he quit-
Joe: I get the message, Peter!

I just suggested a line of handicapable toys - ya know, to show the kids the fun of being physically challenged

Joe

Family Guy Quotes

North Dakota, we're not even the best Dakota!

Peter

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley