Cathy? I know you're here because the car is in the driveway and the smell of cruelty is in the air.


I like playing paintball with my friends. I'd rather shoot myself in the head than run around in the yard, playing with my mom.


Andrea: How come I can't eat them, but he can?
Cathy: I don't care about him.
Sean: And I only eat trash.

I saw my brother's penis. Someone shoot me in the eye.


Dr. Todd [to Cathy]: You have an awesome rack.
Cathy: You say "rack." Really?!?

Bikinis are cruel to almost everyone.


By research, do you mean Glamour magazine? Because I read that article, too.


Cathy: Don't stare yourself. That always backfires.
Andrea: So does binge-eating. But then at least I get to fall asleep with the taste of frosting in my mouth.

You can either be fat and jolly or a skinny bitch. It's up to you.


Anyone ever seen The Patriot? Its depiction of the Revolutionary War is about 20% accurate, but even if you only absorb that much, you'll still know more than 99% of the population. Also, Mel Gibson is medium good. Enjoy!


I'm just gonna have desserts and liquor.


I don't wanna be the one to pick out a new couch. I wanna be the one to spill the fruit punch!


The Big C Season 1 Quotes

Sean: The last you could do is buy a damn Hybrid.
Cathy: The least you could do is take a shower.

Paul: Can we at least figure out what to tell Adam? Because right now, my story is: "Adam, your mom's a meanie!"