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Philip-on-the-americans

Oleg: Squeeze your anus.
Nina: What?
Oleg: Squeeze your anus before you answer the question.
Nina: Is this a joke?
Oleg: No.

Keep a tiger as a pet, it's still a tiger.

Elizabeth

You look like a spy in an old movie.

Philip

What are you, the Kenny Rogers of Tel Aviv?

Philip

They get them when they're children. They indoctrinate them with friendship and songs and cute boys cooing about Jesus.

Elizabeth

Ronald Reagan doesn't care!

Bruce

Elizabeth: What if something happens to the kids? Who will take care of them? We don't have any real friends.
Philip: Isn't that how you wanted it?
Elizabeth: Me? What's that supposed to mean?

You know Salisbury steak is technically a hamburger. In the shape of a steak.

Paige

Come home.

Elizabeth [to Philip in Russian]
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