My DVR is 13 months pregnant with episodes of #Scandal.

Craig

Tyynifer: You're so awesome right now. You're like a skinny Mother Theresa.
April: It's Dwyane Wade's house. I got the address off the internet. I really hope he's there when she walks in and throws a basketball at her head.

Ben, it's been an honor watching you work today. It's been like watching Leonardo work. Da Vinci or Dicaprio—you're that good.

Chris

I'll tell you what's not fair. I'm going to have to watch the Oscars with Ben alone this year! Remember Angelina Jolie and the leg dress moment? He had and I quote, 'No comment!'

Leslie

Who wants to stay in the greatest town in the world with her best friend and be happy forever when she can abandon her soul sister and live in a city city full of jerks? I get it—no hard feelings!

Leslie

Pawnee has the first documented case of mega-diabetes.

Leslie

Ron Swanson: Ron.
Ron Don: Ron.
Ron Swanson: Last name?
Ron Done: Done.
Ron Swanson: Is that your name or are you telling me you're finished talking?
Ron Done: Both.
Ron Swanson: Done and Done.

She's the worst person I've ever met. I want to travel the world with her.

April

I'm sorry, is your name Jennifer?
Tyynifer. No, it's Tyynifer with two ys. It used to be Jennifer, but then I decided to re-brand myself. Oh wait, it's Xanax-o'clock.

April

Things are exactly the same as they were in 1817. Except women and minorities can vote, we have indoor toilets, they don't burn widows for learning arithmetic.

Leslie

Parks and Recreation Season 6 Episode 4 Quotes

I'm sorry, is your name Jennifer?
Tyynifer. No, it's Tyynifer with two ys. It used to be Jennifer, but then I decided to re-brand myself. Oh wait, it's Xanax-o'clock.

April

Things are exactly the same as they were in 1817. Except women and minorities can vote, we have indoor toilets, they don't burn widows for learning arithmetic.

Leslie