Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 3 Episode 3: "Faith, Hope & Trick" Quotes
Buffy: Mom, the only way you get a new slayer is when the old slayer dies.
Joyce: Then that means you...when did you die? You never told me you died.
Buffy: No it was just for a few minutes.
Joyce: Oh I hate this. I hate your life!
Buffy: Mom.
Joyce: I know you didn’t choose this. I know it chose you. I have tried to march in the slayer pride parade but...I don’t want you to die.
Buffy: You got a problem?
Faith: I'm five by five, here B. Living entirely large, actually wondering about your problem.
Buffy: Well, I may not sleep in the nude and wrestle alligators...
Faith: Maybe it's time you started because obviously something in your body needs uncorking. What is it, the Angel thing?
Buffy: What do you know about Angel?
Faith: Just what your friends tell me. Big love, big loss. You had to deal and move on, but you’re not.
Buffy: I got an idea. How about from now on we don’t hear from you on Angel or anything else ain my life, which by the way... is my life!
Faith: Why are you getting so strung up, B?
Buffy: Why are your lips still moving, F?
Faith: Did I just hear a threat?
Buffy: Oh, the one that nearly bit me mentioned something about 'kissing toast'. He lived for kissing toast.
Giles: You mean, Kakistos?
Buffy: Maybe it was taquitos. Maybe he lived for taquitos. What?
Giles: Kakistos.
Buffy: Is that bad?
Giles: Kakistos is Greek, it means the worst of the worst. It's also the name of a vampire so old that his hands and feet are cloven.
Buffy: Maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is Giles.
Faith: I've seen him. If I'da known they came that young and cute, I would've requested a transfer.
Buffy: Raise your hand if eww!
Faith: God, I could eat a horse. Isn't it crazy how slaying just always makes you hungry and horny?
[They all look at Buffy]
Buffy: Well...sometimes I crave a non-fat yogurt afterwards.
Cordelia: I get it!
[They all look at Cordelia]
Cordelia: Not the horny thing, yuck! But the two slayer thing. There was one, and then Buffy died for like two minutes, so then Kendra was called, and then when she died, Faith was called.
Buffy: I just wanna get my life back, you know? Do normal stuff.
Willow: Like date?
Buffy: Well...
Xander: Awww, you wanna date. I saw that half-smile, you little slut.
[Xander laughs and Buffy punches him]
Xander: [still kind of chuckling] Ow.
Buffy: Alright...yes, date, and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff.
