Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Giles: Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate?
Giles: And, uh, there's a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?
Giles: And, well, otherwise, all his spare time's spent lounging about with imbeciles?
Buffy: It's bad, isn't it?
Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course, you'll have to kill him.
Buffy: They didn't hurt him, did they?
Giles: They...uh...ate him.
[Willow sits down]
Buffy: They ate Principal Flutie?
Willow: Ate him up?
Giles: The official theory wild dogs got into his office, somehow. There was no one on the scene.
Willow: You missed it!
Buffy: Missed what?
Xander: We just saw the zebras mating. Thank you, very exciting.
Willow: It was like the Heimlich...with stripes!
Buffy: And I missed it. And yet somehow I’ll find the courage to move on.
Willow: Xander, what’s wrong with you?
Xander: I guess you’ve noticed that I’ve been different around you lately.
Xander: I think...um...I think my feelings for you have been changing and well, we’ve been friends for such a long time, then I feel like I need to tell you something. I’ve decided to drop geometry, so I won’t be needing your math help anymore which means I won’t have to look at your pasty face again.
Cordelia: Owen! Look at you here, all alone.
Owen: Cordelia, I’m here with Buffy.
Cordelia: Oh, okay. You want to dance?
Owen: No...I’m still here with Buffy.
Cordelia: You are so good to help the needy.
Buffy: Cordelia, Owen and I would like to be alone right now. And for that to happen, you would have to go somewhere that’s away.
[Buffy pulls Owen in closer to dance]
Cordelia: Well, when you’re ready for the big leagues, let me know.
Buffy: This is the ‘90s. The 1990s in point and fact, and I can do both! Clark Kent has a job. I just want to go on a date.
Giles: Well, I suppose it was a fairly slim lead.
Buffy: Thank you, thank you, thank you! And look, I won’t go far, okay. If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
Xander: So you just went home?
Buffy: What was I supposed to do, say to Owen, “Sorry I was late. I was sitting in a cemetery with a librarian waiting for a vampire to rise so I could prevent an evil prophecy from coming to pass?”
Xander: Or...flat tire?!
Giles: But I assume I don’t have to warn you about the hazards of becoming personally involved with someone who’s unaware of your unique condition?
Buffy: Yeah, yeah. I read the back of the box.
Giles: If your identity as a Slayer is revealed, it could put you and all those around you in grave danger.
Buffy: Well, in that case, I won’t wear my button that says, “I’m a Slayer. Ask me how.”
Buffy: That was Owen.
Giles: Yes, I remember.
Buffy: Do you have any more copies on Emily Dickinson?! I need one.
Giles: Buffy, while the fact that you want to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday, I think would we should focus on the problem at hand.
Buffy: Right. I’m sorry, you’re right. Vampires...
[She looks down]
Buffy: Does this outfit make me look fat?
[Giles is shocked]
And there will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance, and in this time shall come...”The Anointed.” The Master’s great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him, and he will lead her into hell. As it is written, so shall it be.The Master
Dr. Gregory: I know you can excel in this class, and so I expect no less. Is that clear?
Buffy: Yeah. Sorry.
Dr. Gregory: Don’t be sorry. Be smart. And please don’t listen to the principal or anyone else’s negative opinion about you. Let’s make him eat that permanent record. What do you say?
Buffy: Okay, thanks.
I don’t know what to say. It was really, I mean, one minute you’re in your normal life and then, “Who’s in the fridge?!” It really gets to you with a thing like that. It was...let’s just say I haven’t been able to eat a thing since yesterday. I think I lost like seven and a half ounces! Way swifter than that so-called diet that quack put me on. Oh, I’m not saying that we should kill a teacher every day so I can lose weight. I’m just saying when tragedy strikes we have to look on the bright side, you know? Like, how even used Mercedes have leather seats.Cordelia