Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Ethan: You know, I hope you're not taking this personally, Buffy. I actually kind of like you; it's just that I like myself a lot more. If you think of it karmically, this is really big for your soul, you know. Taking my place with the demon, giving so that others may live.
Buffy: I'm gonna kill you. Will that blow the whole karma thing?
Ethan: Sweet child!
Buffy: I still don't get what this has to do with Giles.
Willow: I don't know about Giles, but ancient sects used to induce possession for bacchanals and...and orgies.
Xander: Okay, 'Giles' and 'orgies' in the same sentence. I could’ve lived without that one.
Buffy: I know you, you ran that costume shop.
Ethan: Oh, I'm pleased you remember.
[He tries to leave but she stops him]
Buffy: You sold me that dress for Halloween and nearly got us all killed.
Ethan: But you looked great.
[She hits him]
Ethan: So now we’re even?
Buffy: I’ll let you know when we’re even. What are you doing here?
Ethan: Snooping around.
Buffy: Honesty, nice touch.
Ethan: It’s one of my virtues...not really.
Willow Do you think Giles played “Anywhere but here” when he was in school?
Xander: Giles lived for school. He's actually still bitter that there were only twelve grades.
Buffy: He probably sat in math class thinking, "There should be more math. This could be mathier."
Willow: Come on. You don't think he ever got restless as a kid?
Buffy: Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed.
Buffy: Does it ever get easy?
[She stakes a vampire Ford after he rises from the grave]
Giles: You mean life?
Buffy: Yeah, does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes. It's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies and everybody lives happily ever after.
Ford: I will become immortal.
Buffy: Well, I've got a news flash for you, brain trust. That's not how it works. You die, and a demon sets up shop in your old house, and it walks, and it talks, and it remembers your life, but it's not you.
Ford: It's better than nothing.
Buffy: And your life is nothing? Ford, these people don't deserve to die.
Ford: Well, neither do I! But apparently no one took that into consideration, 'cause I'm still dying. I look good, don’t I? Let me tell you something, I’ve got maybe six months left and by then what they bury won’t even look me. I will be bald, and shriveled, and smell bad. No, I’m not going out that way.
Angel: I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was an obsession of mine. She was pure, and sweet, and chaste.
Buffy: And you made her a vampire...
Angel: First I made her insane. I killed everybody she loved, visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her Holy Orders, I turned her into a demon.
Buffy: Well, I asked for the truth.
Angel: Do you love me?
Angel: Do you?
[She turns away and back to him]
Buffy: I love you. I don't know if I trust you.
Willow: So, you two were sweeties in fifth grade?
Buffy: Not even! Ford wouldn't give me the time of day.
Ford: Well, I was a manly sixth grader. Couldn't be bothered with someone that young.
Buffy: It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room, listening to that Divnyls song, "I Touch Myself.”
[She looks shocked]
Buffy: Of course, I had no idea what it was about.
Drusilla: My dear boy has gone all the way, hasn’t he? To her.
Drusilla: The girl. The Slayer. Your heart stinks of her. Poor little thing, she has no idea what’s in store.
Angel: This can’t go on, Drusilla. It’s got to end.
Drusilla: Oh no, my pet. This is just the beginning.
[She walks away]
Ethan: What? No hug? Aren't you pleased to see your old mate, Rupert?
Giles: I'm just surprised...I didn't guess it was you. This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne.
Ethan: Yes, it does, doesn't it? Don't wish to blow my own trumpet, but it's genius. The very embodiment of "Be careful what you wish for."
Giles: It's sick, brutal, and it harms the innocent.
Ethan: Oh, and we all know that you are the champion of innocents and all things pure and good, Rupert. It's quite a little act you've got going here, old man.
Giles: It's no act...it's who I am.
Ethan: Who you are? The Watcher. Sniveling, tweed-clad guardian of the Slayer and her kin? I think not. I know who you are, Rupert, and I know what you're capable of. But they don't, do they? They have no idea where you come from.
Giles: Break the spell, Ethan. Then leave this place and never come back.
Ethan: Why should I? What's in the bargain for me?
Giles: You get to live.
Ethan: Oh Rupert. You're scaring me.
[Giles hits him]
Giles: Alright, let's-let's-let's review. So, everybody became whatever they were masquerading as?
Willow: Right. Xander was a soldier and Buffy was an eighteenth-century girl.
Giles: And your costume?
[He stares at her costume]
Willow: I'm a ghost.
Giles: Yes. Ummm...the ghost of what, exactly?