Rosa: Why are you dressed up? You look like an idiot.
Charles: But...but...
Amy: Yeah, what are you supposed to be, a sassy car mechanic?
Jake: No, come on, he's clearly the rejected Pop-Tarts mascot, Hairy Pop-Tart.
Charles: I am not! You know who I am!
Holt: Squad, that's enough. You're making Boyle feel bad on purpose. He's Elvis!
Charles: Yes!
Holt: Elvis Stojko, the Canadian figure skater.
Charles: No!!!!

• Permalink: Jake: No, come on, he's clearly the rejected Pop-Tarts mascot, Hairy Pop-Tart.
• Added: October 25, 2015

Jake: As you may know, for the past two years, Captain Holt and I have engaged in an epic battle of wits. The goal? To determine who must call the other an amazing detective-slash-genius.
Holt: The first year, by sheer dumb luck, Jake eked out a feeble victory.
Jake: And last year I let the Captain win because he's old and sad.

• Permalink: And last year I let the Captain win because he's old and sad.
• Added: October 25, 2015

Holt: This year's a tie-breaker. A final heist to decide once and for all the true king of the Nine-Nine.
Jake: Halloween Heist 3; The Heistening. Tagline?
Holt: This year we both attempt to steal the same object instead of Jake attempting to steal one from me.

• Permalink: This year we both attempt to steal the same object instead of Jake attempting to steal one...
• Added: October 25, 2015

Holt: Alpha team, this is the Golden Sparrow. Rendezvous at drop-zone Yankee.
Jake: When did you come up with all those code names?!?!

• Permalink: Holt: Alpha team, this is the Golden Sparrow. Rendezvous at drop-zone Yankee.
• Added: October 25, 2015

Jake: You should have seen us Rosa, Charles and I were amazing.
Rosa: I somersaulted through a window, cut the crown out of a briefcase and replaced everything in under a minute.
Jake: Yeah, I guess you helped a little. But our fake argument was super convincing, and all of a sudden we had to make it longer, and we did!

• Permalink: Jake: Yeah, I guess you helped a little.
• Added: October 25, 2015