What a stupid thing to say. Name one time when I have been judgmental.


To me, the evidence suggests that James killed his wife and fled. It's my case, and that's the lead we're following.


I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think I'm gonna make an appointment with a shrink.


I had an issue with texting while driving, but I fixed it. Now I just don't look at my phone while I type.


You and I are close, and I value your opinion.


Jake: Wait a minute, are you mad?
Charles: Yes, because you butted into a situation you shouldn't have. You need to keep your butt in your pants.

Do you know how stupid these accusations are? Diaz, you're fired.


What makes more sense? That they take Gape and remove letter? Or that I take Gap and add pricey "E."


Terry: Doesn't that seem a little extreme?
Jake: Yes, definitely. But Charles just said he'd give anything for Gintars to be gone.

Hahaha! We made a joke together!

  • Permalink: Hahaha!
  • Added:

Wow kids are really basic. Is being a dad super easy?


Hi Jake! I love you!


Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

And now, a message of hope. Everything is garbage. You find something you care about, and it's taken from you. Your colleagues, your dream job, your mango yoghurt. Never love anything. That's the lesson.


Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.