Hey, you were my first kid. My beautiful little girl. I’ve always been proud of you and never more than now. But then again, look at your competition.


Dan: Mark was a selfish little punk who ruined your life. When he talked you into dropping out of school, I was going to go to Minnesota and kill him, but your mother stopped me.
Becky: Well, you got your wish. He’s dead.
Dan: If he loved you, he would have done it a lot sooner.

Becky: It’s not all his fault.
Dan: Whose fault is it?
Becky: Mine! Because I let him. I was so stupid. I didn’t want to drop out and move. I wanted to go to college, but I was so afraid to lose him, and then I ended up losing him anyway. I’ve wasted so much time. I kept telling myself that I was going to stop drinking and get back on track. And now I’m so far behind I’ll never catch up.

We tell our kids that everyone’s got an equal chance to get ahead, and if they don’t, it’s because they didn’t work hard enough. Put this in the garbage because that’s what it is.


Rachel: Becky, you’ve got to stop blaming Him for all of your problems and let Him help you.
Becky: The last time She helped me, She threw a deer in front of my husband’s motorcycle, and he died.

Mark: The kids who get into this school get into top-tier colleges.
Darlene: Relax, Honey, you’re going to get in. You’re super, super smart.
Mark: That’s not enough. I’m competing against rich kids from the county. I mean, I can scorch the kids from my school; they grew up eating lead paint chips and cheese ball dust.

Rachel: If you’re not going to do the work, why are you even here?
Becky: Because they told me that they’d teach me how to stop drinking, but I’ve been here for two weeks, and all I’ve gotten is a bunch of psychobabble about why I drink. I know why I drink. My husband died. That’s one of the best reasons to drink ever.

Jeff: You know, we’re all carbon-based beings. If you added any more pressure, you could turn into a diamond. I learned that in Superman comics.
Darlene: I hadn’t pegged you as a reader.

Barbara: I didn’t mean to upset her.
Dan: Well, you’ve got to be careful around the insane.

Becky: What if I can’t do what they’re asking me to do?
Dan: Oh, you’re as stubborn as I am, but you’re also as tough as I am. You need to go back there and just get this done. If you don’t try, you know where this goes.

Ben: You could have texted me, you know, and let me know you were coming.
Barbara: Well, I didn’t want to give you a head start.

He’s a good guy. It’s just the way I see things is changing, and I don’t know if he’s willing to change with me.


The Conners Quotes

Mark: It's been three weeks since Grannie Rosie's funeral, why are people still giving us casseroles?
Harris: And why do people bring casseroles when somebody dies?

Jackie: What was this, tuna casserole or potato salad?
Darlene: It doesn't matter. It's just stuff and mayonnaise.