I thought you were going to say yes, but that's OK. Because I'll be back tomorrow to ask you again. And again, the next day. And the next day. Not Friday I have to go visit my cousin. But I will be back after that to ask you again.


Leslie: My plan is going to change that and bring the budget back. And the answer has been right in front of us the whole time.
April: Ew, check your testicles?
Leslie: No, not that. Although that is very good advice. I'm looking at you, Jerry.

Leslie: You go big or you go home. And you don't seem like the kind of guy who goes home.
Andy: I'm not. I don't even really have a home.

Leslie: Budget solutions number twenty-eight: Use grazing sheep to mow grass in parks. Note: Tired sheep could become food or sweaters.

April: I'm sorry, I was in Venezuela.
Andy: Oh, really? Wow. Across the pond.

Ben: Newspaper headline was "Ice Town costs ice clown his town crown."
Leslie: Yuck.
Ben: They were big into rhymes.

Leslie: Oh I have an idea. You know what would be really fun? After dinner we should take a walk by the pond in Ramset Park.
Chris: Walking the parks can be very romantic.
Leslie: Yeah too bad the parks are always closed though.

Ben: That's right, you were coming here tonight on a date. And hey, Leslie is joining you on this wonderfully romantic occasion. How about that?
Chris: Fantastic!

Jurassic Park. Parks are so great. The parks department needs money. I just did it in three moves.


I would like some wine. And oops, my vest popped open. Just like the budget needs to pop open. And you need to pour it into my parks department.


Do you have any of those shirts that look wet all the time? Or like a metal bikini. Oh! You know what's always sexy? Fingerless gloves.


Yeah, it can be hard work. But every time I look one of these kids in the eyes, and he calls me coach? That's how I know I agreed to be a coach.


Parks and Recreation Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes

Well, I am not usually one for speeches. So, goodbye.


Woman: These are way too tight.
Tom: Well, the real Cinderella didn't have hippo feet.